home again, home again, jiggity jig.....

i'm back.
safe and sound,
and $250 poorer.
oh yeah,
in the spirit of st. pasquale,
trooper faherty of the new hampshire state police
decided that not everybody is irish on st. paddy's day,
and cast the snakes right out of my wallet
with a jackass jack-move citation and summons.
mutha-ucka!!
he did hide behind his mirrored glasses,
and make fun of my licence picture,
but he did NOT have a kickass moustache.
two out of three passes the douche exam,
barely.
F+, ya'll.....
way to go, cop-tard!


i walked in the door to this little cutie awaiting my arrival.
c'mon.
an upside downside root spirit of the woodsly goodness?!
do i ever even deserve such dopeness?
i sure hope so.
and after smooching all my ladies,
both two and four legged
i sprawled out in my bed and passed the f* out.
i slept for a good strong stretch, for the first time in a long time.
when i got up,
i had some east coast hard-style captain eli's root beer,
with a few drops of birch-tinged respect tipped out for my minnesota homies.
then i watched the rocky horror picture show,
alongside my sweet sweet honey baby,
and when it was over and done with,
and rif-raf and magenta had transported then entire castle
back to planet transsexual in the galaxy of transylvania,
i climbed back into bed,
again,
and fell balls-deep asleep reading about thieves, scouts, and half-orc raiders.
damn, my ninjas,
i'm still a little bit sad about having left the comfortable companionship of
those fresh and flavorful midwestern warriors,
but sh!t on a sapsucker, yo,
it's really mutha-uckin' fantastically good to be home.

i'm gonna finish this prussian pointy panzer-pinscher.

i'm thinkin' that there's a box full of barbarian battle moths.
y'know,
made out of the four flavor components of hottness:
fire, wrench, lightning, bones.

throw in some runes and a few elevens,
and maybe an acorn or three,
and it looks like i've got all the ingredients already gathered.
stayin' busy.
a rolling stone gathers no moss.
(although i really like moss)
and a rolling rock gathers white-capped dave matthew's fans.
and i guess if we roll out the barrel,
most likely, super-mario will jump it and try to kick donkey kong's mincy monkey heinie.
i've lost my original thought,
but where there's simian buttholes,
there's the opportunity to go completely apesh!t bananas-
that's the big business big action right there;
never quiet, never soft....