Saturday, August 9


let them eat cake?
let 'em?
just try and stop 'em.
i mean,
when it's a cake that's THIS expert?
you won't be able to keep 'em away.
pecans are fancy.
and there're tons of them hiding in the cake batter.
a little nutmeg, a little cinnamon,
a lot of soy-based binders, butters, and leaveners,
and handfuls of toasted crushed pecans.
because we aren't weak-sauce watered down diaperbabies over here.
in fact,
we're woodsly goodsly werewolfen full moon foodies,
and we want much much more of whatever is any good.
that's a thing.
and another thing about this cake is that it was baked in two layers,
each topped with a hugely activated sliced and spiced slathering
of incredibly juicy red pears.
two pairs of them, even.
and when they got stacked once they cooled,
the big action was to use the bottom one's topcoat as glue,
to hold them together forever, and become filling for the middle.
that's smart planning, and that sort of thinking is what makes these treats
so expert.
mmhmm. i know.
pears and pieces aren't nearly enough hottness for a two layer cake, are they?
no way, kids.
so, while the batter was mixin',
i had all those whole pecans roasting,
and when the aroma of nuts was up my nose,
i hit them with a pat of butterstyle yellow stuff,
and a dash or three of cinnamon sugar glaze.
holy crap, neighbors.
we needed fancy whole pecan sprankles, right?
you're g-danged right we did.
all the right things in all the best places all came together
to make the magic happen in a two-disc dispensation of dopeness.
cake is ON menu.
you'd better be ready for a big slice.
anything else is a show of babyishness.
did you just ask if it is moist?
of course it is,
don't be dumb-
it's got wet pear puddin' all over the place!
hmm? what's that, now?
is the full-moon pregame getting to me?
yes. it sure is.
sleeping is for suckers when the light of the night
is as bright as a silver circle spot in the sky.
wide awake and thinking about cake is all i ever want to do.
all i even did for all of last night, anyway.
i'm going to allow myself to indulge in adventure.
i feel rushed, pressed, excluded, extruded, intruded upon, and rude.
i'm also a fire-spittin' lightning-striking viking of the first order,
and i'm gonna do what i do,
with or without a surplus of time, energy, or funds.
today is the day.
that's it.
the loudest, freshest, hardest one.
just like everyday is, if you allow it to be.
allowances are being made, allowances are being paid,
and allowances are not gonna be the make or break between
permitted permissions and nocturnal emissions.
there is a whole lot of everything that is happening all around me,
and time isn't going to take ME away.
not today.
berserker barbarian battle-beastly juggernaut jauns are all i'm thinking about
(and more cake, too, please)
so that's all i'm gonna do.
if you aren't ready,
i'll take a moment to advise you to get ready, right quick, in a hurry-
because we've got a lot to do,
and this is it;
never quiet, never soft.....

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