DUMP HEAP!

hey guys,
do y'all know about me and dumplings?
like, how i love 'em, and when i make 'em, i make a LOT of 'em?
do you know about how i gotta have two separate sauces?
or how i prefer two-tone sassy sesame sossamon seeds IN the wrappers?
do you know about tamari-glazed wilted bok choy?
^^that's not dumpling-specific, but if you're an expert,
you'll add it to the meal anyway.
real talk.
dumpling night, kinda potsticky and sorta gyoza-y,
and tight and TILTY and fresh to death....
that's what's up.
ok. maybe you already know, or maybe you're new to the scene.
either way, you get to see it right now, via teleport:

DUMPS ON YOUR FACE!!!
man, that's a F*ing epic heap of 'em, innit?
i knowwwwwwww. and me and dylan, my frequent foodie compatriot,
devoured each and every last one of 'em with the quickness.
savoring dumplings is NOT what they're designed for.
no way.
they're flavor grenades, neighbors.
y'feel me?
bit off one end, spoon some slippery sauce in there to set the charge,
dunk it in the boomfire sauce, toss the whole pouch into your face,
and let the taste exxxplosions shock and awe your dumb tongue into ecstasy.
....it's the only way to do it.
and it's muh-fuh'n rewarding every single time you eat one,
which, in instances like this, is a lot of times.
too much is the right amount.
and too many dumplings is NOT even a real thing.
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here's a little sumthin'-sumthin' you might find interesting:
i don't think i've ever made the same filling twice for these lil jauns.
honestly, i don't know why not,
other than maybe an obsessive pursuit of the new hottness?
could be.
the stuffin' in these would certainly be invited back, though,
if i were the type who was capable of a do-over.
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*
DUMP STUFF!
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in a medium pan, with a tablespoon of hot sesame oil,
saute:
1 bunch diced scallions;
2 cloves crushed garlic;
1 finely minced carrot;
2 cups shredded cabbage (purple and green)
1/2 block crOmbled exxxtra-firm tofu;
GPOP, ground ginger, fresh-cracked black pepper;
and a splash each of tamari and rice wine vinegar.
cook it down until the veg is softened,
which is a fast process with such small bits of everything.
let that cool,
and get your dummp-dough going...
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 DUMPWRAPZ
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in your trusty stand mixer, in all it's indefatigably dutiful dopeness ,
combine:
2 cups all purpose flour;
1/2 tsp salt;
2 T two-tone sossamon sesame seeds;
3/4 cup warm water.
beat all that up for ten minutes, and let it rest for another 'nother ten.
roll it out hella thin on a well-floured surface,
and cut some 3" circles out, over and over, re-rolling the trim,
until you've got, like, forty of those bad boys.
can you guess what comes next?
yeah.
stuffing 'em.
a spoonful of filling in the center of every flap,
folded in half, pinched shut, and crimped simply to seal it.
over and over and over again.
when they're all packed with the goods,
heat up a great big pan with a glug of sesame oil,
and get it plenty hot.
arrange all the dumps (you may need to do two batches if you don't have a great great big pan)
in a fan, or however you deem the best tetris arrangement,
and let 'em sizzle for no more than two minutes,
before you add 3 T water, and lid the whole whole thing
for maxxximum steamy dreamy hot-fiery high-heat cook-up activation.
it's real.
when the liquid has disappeared into the floury shells,
turn each one onto the long side, and let that brow up a bit, too.
the second side sear is key, kids.
rules is rules, and single sear is for suckers.
don't be a sucker, be a deluxxxe dump-trucker and do it right.
i'm just sayin', you might not think it matters.....ut you're wrong.
look:

SEE??!!?
that's how it's s'posed to be, b.
word up.
y'see that sexxxy sauce?
you need it.
you really do.
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SSSSEXXXY SAUCE!
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2 T tamari;
1 T rice wine vinegar;
1 tsp sesame oil;
1/2 tsp toasted sesame sprankles;
1 pinch of minced fresh green onion (scallion, whatever);
2 cloves crushed garlic;
dash of GPOP;
1/2 tsp sugar.
^ DASSIT, duder.
perfection.
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but, that's not all.
no way.
we don't bring the weak sh!t up in here.
only super-bummery bums would stop at this point.
there's a whole other 'nother sauce, too.
yup. a spicy one.
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* 
SPICY SAUCE!
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4 tsp sriracha;
1 tsp texas pete ho'sauce;
1/2 tsp sesame oil;
2 shakes liquid smoke;
1/2 tsp tamari;
toasted sesame seeds;
black pepper.
HOT, in a good way, and not so hot that it sucks the joy out of the room.
this is an outside sauce.
like, on the surface.
whereas the other one is slippery, and slides around in the filling by design.
you'll see. don't listen to me, find out on your own.
that's what i'd do, too, if i thought i wasn't a sauce savant (which btw i am)
-
raw pea tendrils for protein and chlorphyll and nutrients an' that-
actually they just look pretty sweet, but whatever, man.
and then there's that bok choy-
which is seriously a whole head of chopped choy, a splash of tamari, and heat.
like, a minute of doing something gets you all that awesomeness.
i'm with that, bro.
forever.
on the ones:
DUMPLINGS are F*ing terrific.
that's all there is left to say.
***********
work?
don't mind if i do.
play?
not so much.
i've got Folk Life & Liberty Fortress amendments that desperately need making.
there's years' of hermit-style living that have to be corrected,
in order to make room for more of everything good, and soon at that.
for far too long i've been living all alone, ignoring the improvements and upgrades
that glaringly scream out for attention from almost every room upstairs.
yikes.
and when i say living all alone, that's been true even when i had cohabitants
constantly creepin' around.
i guess i just needed the proper motivation?
or the right combination of circumstances and characteristics?
what do i know?
i know that the haunted house i live in needs an immediate overhaul.
that's for sure.
i've got the whole horizon aglow with sunshiny brightness,
and it's lit a fuse for Folk explosions in the woodsly goodness.
it's all happening.
fast;
never quiet, never soft.....