WAFFLES!

d'ya like waffles?
me too!
have you ever had a gluten-free savory scallion-spiked cornmeal waffle?
no?
well, lemme tell you somethin', neighbors-
you haven't had waffles until you've had food waffles.
do you follow?
food waffles aren't breakfast waffles, they're other times-of-day meal waffles.
savory, not sweet; not dented pancakes, but rather, dented MANcakes.
that's a thing.
or, it is now, anyway.
here's the deal-
mexican monday felt like it was a lot to handle in the rain.
that's no joke.
i just needed to do something sunshiny to make it magical.
and i did.
and it was.
and that's why i'm an expert, bruh.
check the teleport:

YESSSSS!
there's spinach and cabbage and cilantro and carrots with a squeeze of lime juice
as the base- a little leafy salad stuff to give you those phyto-flight nutrients an' that-
and there's my patented super-sexxx salsa-
the new-new hottness of fire-roasted tomato tightness to eleven, for sure.
that was the prime mover of all the things, man.
a good salsa is the key to a great mexican monday.
rules is rules.
-
and AVO-F*ING-CADO?
c'mon.
what are you?
an A*-hole?
obviously, there's gonna be green goodness for your F*ing face.
it's a necessity, y'nerds.
don't be dumb.
-
refried black beans are NOT the easiest ones.
they seemed drier than the pink jauns.
i still hooked 'em up with ho'sauce, and olive oil, and minced red onion,
and GPOP of course, and a punch of nootch.
and then, i dripped in a few tablespoons of water, too.
i mean, get real, kids. i don;t want crumbly mooshed beans.
that's a real loser move, and that ain't me.
lesson learned.
black beans are great. black bean refrieds? they're just okay.
unless one of you has a better way to do it, in which case, tell me.
i want all the goodness, and i wouldn't wanna miss out.
-
tempeh is not my favorite plant-based protein.
seitan is number one, but, with all this glutenlessness on the horizon,
i doubt very much that it'll be as invited as it used to be.
so, we're down to the other 'nother bean-ier sources of energy.
anyway, tempeh is still delicious, if you know how to activate it.
and i do, and that's what happened-
-
*
TEMPEH CHIPOTLE!
-
in a smaller non-sticky pan,
lay out 1/2 block, sliced into strips.
and add in: 1 tsp paprika;
1 tsp smoked hot paprika;
black pepper;
1 T ho'sauce;
2 shakes liquid smoke;
1 T agave;
1 T olive oil;
1/2 cup water;
1/2 tsp ea GPOP;
1/2 tsp oregano;
1/4 tsp cumin and coriander;
a few shakes of thyme.
bubbled on high until the liquid is absorbed and the agave caramelizes.
that's good for you.
and it tastes pretty effin' good, too.
and it goes well with all the other other pieces of the puzzle.
friends, it's ALL building towards something.
-
lastly, but, naturally, best and most importantly, those waffles, b.
yup.
that's what's UP.
you ain't no kind of aficionado of the waffz if you don't get buy with bad boys like this.
that's like not owning more than one waffle iron?
c'mon.
that's bush league business, broski.
step up your game.
wordimus prime-
here's how i did what i did, so you can doo-doo that freaky sh!t, too:
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*
CORNBREAD WAFFZ!
-
heat up your iron, buddy,
and stir together:
1 cup cornmeal;
1/2 cup gluten-free chick pea/rice blend jauns;
1/2 tsp pink salt;
1 T baking soda;
1 T egg replacer powder;
3 T tapioca starch;
1 tsp baking powder;
1/2 tsp black pepper;
2 T fresh diced scallions;
3 T melted vegan butter;
1 cup non-dairy milk;
1 tsp apple cider vinegar.
^^^ that seem like a lot?
well, that's because not using good flour makes everything harder.
so, naturally, i've just gotta do that.
it's, like, my thing.
most waffle makers in the modern age have an indicator light.
if yours does, then you already now when your waffles are done.
if not, i guess just use your eyes, dumdum.
i mean, really. y'ever seen a waffle before?
you can figure it out.
i'm positive.
***********
out of time.
that's me.
i've got cakes on cakes and cookies to tell you about,
but i've got so much life to squeeze into today first.
we'll get where we're going, eventually,
but for now, i've just gotta get along;
never quiet, never soft.....