WTF?!

i had a fully-loaded sicilian square.
i did.
it was packed and stacked and laden with alllll the things,
and i ate it, with dylan,
at AMPERSAND TATTOO.
he knows about pizza, man, like a real pizza-man,
and we took it down to devour-ville in a heartbeat.
here's the thing- i was full as heck afterwards,
and my dinner vision was clouded by all that sicilian strega sh!t.
so, when it was time to do somethin', i was at a loss for ideas.
and if you don't start nothin', there won't BE nothin', neighbors.
that's not allowed.
so, i got some stuff started.
i haven't been grocery shoppin' in a little minute, which makes things harder, too.
but, really, that's kind of my move.
everything the harder way, every day.
what do you make when you haven't got sh!t on hand?
you make a mess, man.
and that's what i did.
check the sandwiches-sorta-or-somethin'-type teleport:

WHAT ARE THOSE?
they're spicy, and smoky, and crispy sandwiches, man.
or wraps? i dunno what you're gonna call 'em.
but whatever you name them, they had a whole lotta flavor, boiiiiiiiii.
that's the truth.
oven roasted sweet and red potato slices-
olive oil, salt, pepper, cayenne and paprika, roasty, toasty, crisp-edged and soft-centered.
that's how i like 'em, and that's how they were.
expert.
*
and that tofu was pretty flippin' tight, too-
that's pan-fried to a crisp and crusty exterior,
and then activated with:
2 T olive oil;
1 tsp smoked paprika;
1/2 tsp hot paprika;
1 tsp sugar;
1/2 tsp ea GPOP;
1 tsp nootch;
black pepper;
1/4 tsp cayenne;
1 gentle shake of cumin;
1/4 tsp ground coriander.
kaBOOM.
the oil and the spices coat the whole surface,
and stick to it like a second skin of spicy sexxxiness.
you could have any ordinary tofu, or you can be dope as heck.
i'm not telling you what to do,
but one is clearly the better choice.
just sayin'.
*
there's red and green leaf lettuce on there.
and shredded purple cabbage.
and shaved purple carrot;
and red onion (which is also purple, honestly).
that's a decent level of leafy goodness, right?
yeah, i think so too.
and all of that is on a pan-fried herb flatbread that's pretty dang amazing.
yup.
-
*
HERB FLATBREAD!
-
in you stand mixer, with the dough hook doing the dang thang, combine:
2 cups flour;
1 tsp salt;
1 T baking powder;
1 tsp baking soda;
3 T vegan sour cream;
3 T olive oil;
1 T fire-roasted tomato flakes;
1/2 tsp fresh cracked black pepper;
1 tsp rosemary;
1/4 tsp thyme;
1/2 cup warm water.
beat that up until it's a smooth ball, about ten minutes,
and let it rest while you heat up a pan with just a thin sheen of vegetable oil.
get the pan hella hot, divide the dough in two,
and roll out two circles on a floured surface.
then, toss 'em one at a time onto that hot pan, and watch 'em puff up.
give 'em two minutes on each side, and flip 'em only once.....
just like that- you've got miracle bread, bro.
for realsies.
now you're a food genius. voila!
-
you know i hit 'em with the ho'sauce.
yeah, man. texas pete is my dude. and he came through with that spice.
i like that.
but,
too much is the right amount,
and that meant i had to do something exxxtra....
so, i done did the damned thing.
you know what i mean, man?
i made some radical homemade super-deluxxe vegan ranch.
WORD.
-
1/3 cup vegan sour cream;
1 tsp lemon juice;
1 tsp pickle brine;
1/4 tsp dill weed;
33 craxxx black pepper;
1/4 tsp ea. GPOP;
1/4 tsp chopped parsley.
-
kaBAM!!


a righteous sauce is essential.
without it, you've just got average food.
and average is NOT invited.
not once, not ever.
therefore, only the level eleven new hottness need apply.
which is precisely what's poppin' over here at the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
real talk.
*
a good come-from-behind sandwich can improve the mood immensely.
although, a daunting disintegration of house and home can ruin that just as quickly.
guys,
i've got rooms on rooms on rooms i've avoided for almost a decade,
and the days of ignoring them are done.
it's a lot to deal with all at once,
but time is of the essence, and what needs doing has got to get done.
i visited rooms in this haunted ghost house i'd not spent any time in
in ages....
and cleared them out of all the stored sh!t that's been taking up space forever.
every day, a little bit more goes away,
and that makes a lot more room for improvements.
i like that a lot, guys.
the newer bigger better more-important super-deluxxxe fresh-to-death dopeness
has got to have room to expand...
and that's what's happening.
this is it.
the latest, and the greatest undertaking of my life to date.
filling this Folk Life with all the worthiest and most valuable pieces-
it's not stuff, either, as it turns out.
that's a surprise i didn't see coming.
i'm here, bagging and tagging and tossing and turning inside and outside and upside-down,
in order to make the magic more readily conjurable to all the ones who need it.
i'm so tired, and i have none of the handiest manly skills to make it happen,
but happen it must, so happen it will;
never quiet, never soft.....