PESSSSSSTO !!!

duders,
la peste was a great book,
and it was written by a guy named albert, which is pretty cool.
but,
PESTO is something else entirely; and arguably, it's even better-
and it was also made by a guy named albert,
which also happened to be pretty cool.
and also, it means paste, not plague, and that's something to make a note about, too.
yep, basil sauce for something special.
i had thai tuesday, so thai thursday was not necessary.
(although thai fry-day may be what happens tonight,
in honor of the fullest werewolfen summertime moon)
so, what do i do when i do what needs doing,
and there's more basil than the plant can handle?
i make a pesto pizza with potatoes.
clearly, that's the right answer neighbors, and while i prefer being right over being happy,
a pesto potato pizza makes me BOTH.
also, there's plenty of other sh!t poppin' off on this pie, too,
because too much is the right amount.
and that's WORD.
check the teleport:

YO, KID, THAT'S THE TRUTH.
all the elements of elite level-eleven expertism on one right-on buttery-crusted surface.
here's a little insight into the square pizza preference at the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
y'ready?
ok- i have this one perfectly-seasoned super-sexxxy steel baking tray from the fifties.
it's big, it's metal, and it's a rectangle.
so, when i make a pizza, and i want the most pizza, i stretch it to the edges of the tray,
and that's a right-angled situation, so that's where the form dictates the function.
see?
i like a classic roundie, and don't think i don't for even a second-
but i can make a bigger better jaun if i take it to the limits of the surface area.
and MORE pizza is the only quantity i'm effing with, man.
the dough? expert.
the pesto expert.
the double potatoes? man, you already know...
and that tempeh bacon? yup, you guessed it: expert.
everything was working together, and all of it built a better pizza, buddy.
that's real talk.
....
here's what went into that pesto:
-
*
ALBERT CAMUS!
-
in your indispensably util food processor, pulverize:
1/3 cup toasted sunflower seeds;
1/4 cup olive oil;
1/2 cup parsley;
1/4 cup scallion greens;
3 cloves lightly-sauteed barely-browned garlic;
1/4 cup nutritional yeast;
1 T lemon juice;
2 cups freshly-plucked basil leaves;
pink salt, black pepper, GPOP, all to taste;
2-3 T water, to thin it as necessary.
-
that's all, y'all.
just pulse it up, scrape it down, and repeat, until it's perfectly pureed.
that's pesto in one bow in one shot.
boom.
you're a miracle.
*
and the dough?
i went fluffy, and fresh, and focacciaish just to keep it summery:
-
*
SQUARE BOMB DOUGH!
-
in your uprighteous stand-up stand-alone mixer,
with the dope dough j-hook attached, knead together:
1 cup semolina;
1 cup + 3 T high-protein bread flour;
1 1/2 tsp sea salt;
1 tsp sugar;
1 pkg regular ol' yeast;
4 T vegan butter;
3/4 cup warm water, with 1 1/2 tsp bread machine yeast, and 1 glug of agave, bloomed.
give it ten minutes in the mixer,
and let it rise while your oven preheats to 480℉ on convection.
you're gonna be psyched at this combo, bro-bro.
i promise.
let it rise 30 minutes, stretch it on your preferred pan-
(i've got the awesome one i always brag about ready to go with a glug of olive oil)
and let it finish a second bulk rise on there, before you add the toppings.
***********
those toppings, too, dudes!!!
sweet potatoes, pan-seared in a little baby bit of oil.
-
and red-skin-on potatoes, sliced and salted, and gently GPOP'd
and baked, on parchment, in the preheating oven, just until barely golden-browned.
...perfecto deluxxxo.
mmmm.
-
blackened tomatoes? don't mind if i doo-doo that freaky sh!t.
i had the pan from the garlic for the pesto ready already,
so i tossed those sliced grape tomatoes, cut-face down into the infused oil, and let 'em char.
THEY'RE F*ING AWESOME, NEIGHBORS, and you probably want some for yourself.
.....so make 'em, it's literally like two steps and two ingredients. c'mon.
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how about those red onion strips? you need 'em, or your pizza will suck balls.
if you don't like onions, you're defective.
if you're allergic? same thing, only i'm slightly sorry i called you a name.
but seriously, onions are where the flavor lives.
so, go there, and get flavored, and be a better version of yourself for the effort.
for real.
-
that's a LOT of stuff, isn't it?
with the pesto on there,
AND the daiya mozzarella, minced for superior meltability,
it's already a big deluxxe one-
but then, there's also all those things, AND tempeh bacon.
mmmmhmmmm.
homemade hottness for your whole hungry face...
look at this big boi:

COME ON, BRUH.
and here's the best part-
after it came out of the oven?
radicchio ribbons, and basil flower tip sprankles freaked it off.
AND fried garlic sprankles, because rules is rules, fools.
that's that good thang.
seriously,
if you're making pizza, y'gotta do it right, otherwise, you're just some amateur A*-hole.
...nobody likes that.
***********
holy sh!t.
i thought i was gonna go home and do important homeownery things-
instead, i did some weirdie family tattoos for a trio of molto nice folks.
guys,
it's like i can't not work.
and that's gotta change, and soon.
a more effective and efficient use of my time at work and at home.
also,
i slept only a little baby minute before work, so i was really free-flowing
freestyle downhill powered exclusively by gravity's pull-
so, there's that, too.
it's kind of a miracle i was even awake at all, let alone tattzappin' and entertaining,
and pizza making and dog walking and all the things that i was doing-
and when i finally fell asleep? it was on the floor, nowhere near the bed.
yup.
passing out is what i do, dudes.
if i stop moving, i stop completely.
and that's a whole other 'nother thing that needs to be addressed.
i'm maybe spread a little thin, and could use a bit of bulking up.
i s'pose that's the next step in this great big new and exciting journey
into full-frontal family-style actual adulthood.
i'll get to it after i get this galette into the oven.
oh, what?
you thought i was gonna be a weak lazy lil bihhhhhhhh? that's not me.
i got blueberries and chocolate and pastry all ready to get combined like voltron, bruh.
just because there isn't any reserve energy left in the backup tank,
that doesn't mean that i'm gonna miss out on the good stuff.
i'm creating power straight outta nothing,
and besides, my homeboy travis is coming by tonight,
so being tired is not going to work for me during this meeting of the worthiest werewolves.
it's all really happening, and MORE of it is all there ever is;
never quiet, never soft.....