at a loss.

operating at a loss.
you know,
not retaining any gains.
going backwards,
taking back words,
and backtracking the same beaten paths
on a beaten horse, who may or may not be deceased.
wait.
that last bit is actually my tattoo appointment today.
beating a dead horse, or something that looks like that.
for serious.
one last decent zipzap before my last night in town
for a decent stretch of southerly climes and tropical action.
anyway....
i'm losing ground in my battles these days.
awake is kicking sleeps A*.
digestion is taking some serious casualties,
ingestion is losing a war of attrition,
and competent communication is winless so far this season.
i'm at a loss for words, really.
at least,
i'm not finding the right ones inside my big hairy melon,
and the hot fire spit i'm spewing doesn't seem to be
warming anything up, or melting any hearts.
for example?
i just learned that abortion jokes aren't always funny;
 like,
if you happen to tell a bunch to a pair of adoptive parents
of multiple children from various circumstances.
awwwwwwwwwwwwww, man!!!
...turns out that's a thing, neighbors.
mouthfoot sole-tongue nutrient awkwardness.
for my face.
like i said.
there's a deficit-spending situation sliding down the pipes,
and going down the tubes,
all whilst the rest of it is moving right along.
i guess i should've stockpiled more or everything?
maybe.
it seems like there's always more of everything
and somehow just a smidge too little to show of/for it.
yeah.
maybe the impending upending of my many manly routines
will help equal out the effects of this gradual ebbing,
and the flavor can flow back until all cups runneth over
every day in every way.
*
it's the last day of winter,
and it's gonna be around seventy-some-odd degrees
of farenheit heat-holding sunlit semi-summery sexiness.
...with piles of snow all over the place.
that's how we doo-doo that sh!t in the woodsly goodness.
saturating the soil with sauce,
and making mud out of the mixture to mire our hearts and minds.
uh-huh.
that's what happens, friends.
anybody wishing that it was still terrible outside?
really?
well, you can definitely F* right off.
adios, winter.
i'm geting psyched up and amped to eleven
about the epic equinox creepin' up towards
heroic next-season new energy activation.
oh,
and i should probably start packing;
never quiet, never soft.....