because i prefer my private stock's special blend.
yeah.
i don't want the simple shredded up sloppiness
of a box of store-bought brown nugs.
nope.
i need the expert activation of a slow-simmered smoky soy-sauced
slab of super-thick, extra-firm succulent wheaty meatiness.
uh-huh.
i doo-doo that big action like a champ.
mmmmmm.
and i did it yesterday, because i had a plan, man.
that's right.
southern inspired vegan comfort food.
yum.
i mixed up some corn starch and flour,
with paprika, ground mustard, g.p.o.p.,
black pepper, nootch, sage, thyme, oregano, and basil,
and stirred it up with club soda, for a perfect dippin' batter,
and i dropped a few seitan steaks right up in it,
to make sure all the edges were dredged in that seasoned sexxxiness.
what do we do with batter and protein when we're aiming southwards?
we fry it.
obvi.
check the teleport:
chicken fried seitan,
over garlic'd collard greens,
on a savory spiced cornbread waffle,
with grilled leek sprankles,
and a healthy glug-a-lug of homemade gravy.
woooooooooooord up.
that's the new hottness for your face, neighbors.
how about those brown sugared (tempeh)bacon blackeye peas,
with a dash of ho'sauce,
shredded kale added in right at the end, so it stayed tight and bright,
and a few extra strips of tempeh bacon for good measure?
i'm telling you, friends.
i kind of got especially expert this time.
hmm?
yes.
that IS more gravy, obviously, and a few scallions,
because they're delicious,
and garnishes are for adults who give a damn.
which is of course to say, for me.
salad?
more like- lemon-juice activated slaw for my digestive health, duders.
parsley, cilantro, radicchio, pea tendrils, and scallions,
guys,
that crispy crunchy batter on the seitan?
so dope.
that waffle?
crunchy-edged cornbread with gravy-holding dents was the only way to go.
*
sometimes,
as time ticks away,
and the days bleed together into a bleary-eyed blur of busy busy business,
i need some comforting.
i'll take it in the form of sustenance whenever i can.
i love food.
the most.
and i'm happy to report that i feel better for terrorizing that whole plate,
plus a little bit more.
second helpings are the only seconds i like;
never quiet, never soft.....
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