would you like to?
ok.
well, i will- i promise;
but first,
allow me to tell you a bit about the time-consuming nature of my hallowe'en preparations.
here in the woodsly goodness, a few people go hard for the holiday.
ad even then,
it's mainly the home decor styles- y'know?
like,
pumpkins and cornstalks and gravestones on the front lawn and that.
i don't really doo-doo that sort of stuff.
nope.
it's relatively unnecessary and not fancy enough.
hear me out-
the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress already looks abandoned,
and haunted, and deadly axe-murdery spooky without a jack o'lantern on the porch.
also,
i have gotten a total of 0 tricky treatseekers since moving here in '09.
that's eight consecutive treaty-makin' goose-eggs, kids.
no bueno.
so,
instead,
i invest my energies elsewhere...
now,
it is a well-known fact that y'boi albie rock effs with the we'en pretty heavy.
namely, the costume partying aspect.
that's sort of my thing.
on the real, no shame:
i like to play dress-up,
...and i reallllly like to indulge my super-nerdy sci-fi fantasy d&D side.
like, warrior bobotrons, and gadget-based bionic barbarians and so on and on.
however,
this year,
with new studio sh!t,
and crabtree the neediest dog ever sh!t,
and berfday travel and sh!t,
time is tighter than ever,
so i'm really employing my skills to their upper and outer limits.
i'm counting on muscle memory, and heavy accent painting,
to carry me to the finish line on the big day.
foam crafting is a real pain in the butt, bros.
that's real.
i'm getting there, but barely.
you'll see what i mean when the time comes,
but,
i the interim,
let's get back to galettes.
check the teleport:
WOOOOO!!
spoooooky ghost cookies on a spooky cinnamon-ginger sweet roughhouse pastry.
yeah!!!
guys,
the key to powering through a costume is powering UP on treats.
that's real.
and when you've got tiers of taste and texture all working in unison
to activate all the potential hottness of one singular sweet tart/pie/thingie?
that's expert.
-
friends,
that's got peanut butter and agave on the bottom-
spread thin, for the subtle flavor of the good-good, without being heavy and intrusive.
smart.
fresh picked local crisp apples sliced thin af, fanned out,
and topped with cinnamon and powdered sugar are spiraling out of control
right on top of those sticky pee-pee butts.....
and that's when you turn it up to eleven,
with a whole bunch of blackberry jammie-jam blopped on top.
don't worry, duders.
at 415℉ it all melts together into a sweet berry glaze that caramelizes the sugars,
and makes the whole dang thing into one solid sexxxy uified force for deliciousness.
it takes about twenty minutes, but it's totally worth it.
dope.
-
and that crust?
neighbors,
you are NOT ready for that much rustic realness.
but, in case you'd like to test that assertion,
here's what you'll need to try your luck:
-
*
GALETTE DOUGH!
-
in a medium mixin' bowl, cut the fats and the dry stuff together like this:
1 cup flour;
1/2+ cup white whole wheat flour;
4 T raw big crystal sugar;
8 T butterish;
3 T vegan creamchee';
1/4 tsp salt;
cinnamon and ginger;
vanilla;
and non-dairy milk, ice-cold, added 1 T at a time
until everything sorta sticks together when squeezed.
that's hen you fold it and flip it and turn it and fold it about ten times,
and the fold it once more, to take it to eleven,
obvi.
-
you could chill it for an hour,
or,
you could even use it right away, like i do.
...
it's really good. and you'll be glad you made some.
rustic stuff doesn't have to be pretty, either, which is cool, for sure.
i like to add little accents, but only because i'm a F*ing snob about treats.
ha.
and don't act like those ghosts are s'kyooooooot, either.
we both know better.
***********
i've got appointments for tatts on tatts, man...
and craft foam cut in heaps-
with a dremel, a heat gun, and a glue gun ready to rock;
plus,
a dinner reservation,
and plans for this day that'll take me to the limits of well-timed scheduling.
it's possible that all of it is going to work out great,
and then again,
it's possible that i'm in for a runaway roller-coaster ride to the edge of a temper tantrum.
i s'pose we'll know by nightfall, huh?
it's all got to go on, and get done,
so that's what'll happen.
anything less is for A*-holes,
and A*-holes think that not enough is acceptable.
no effing way, buddy-
too much is the right amount,
and anybody who says otherwise is not invited;
never quiet, never soft.....
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