mmhmmm.
on the first day,
we make a special treat.
and during specific times, the treats have a theme.
for example-
on the first of october,
which just happens to coincide with sandwich week,
there are two qualifiers in place that dictate what treats can be made.
mmhmm.
one, it's GOT to be pumpkin.
and two, it's GOT to be a sandwich-style baked great.
easy, right?
you bet your A* it is.
check the seasonally-appropriate-site-specific-thematically-accurate-type teleport:
WHOOOOOOOOOOOPIE PIES!!!
*ahem*
MAPLE PUMPKIN SPICED WHOOOOOOOOOPIE PIES!!!
yeah!!
that's IT, neighbors.
i'll confess, i referenced a recipe to make these.
i know that's not normal protocol, but it's been getting kinda hectic around here,
like SNAP,
but,
also like SNAP, i've got the power....to produce some internet-assisted pumpkin hottness
for your mutha-flippin' face!
c'mon, man.
with those jack'O'sugared stencil faces, too?
i doo-doo that freaky sh!t,
because i genuinely believe in overdoing it in exxxtra ways every damned day.
...and that's real talk.
also,
i got some cinnamaplecreamchee' thickness in between those orange buns,
and it's as expert as can be, kids.
yum yum YUM.
-
*
CINNAMAPLE RIC FLAIR FROST-UP!!
-
3 cups kapowdered sugar;
1/2 tsp maple exxxtract;
1 tsp vanilla;
1 stick vegan butts;
1/2 tub vegan creamchee'
- whipped into a frenzy, stuffed inside a pastry bag, squeezed onto those spongy circles,
and dipped in amazing autumnal nonpareil sprankles!!!
and would you like to know why?!
because too much is the right amount!
enough of that fill-up sh!t,
let's go deep, and get into those pies, now.
word.
-
*
NATURE'BOI PUFFKIN WHOOPS!!
-
preheat your oven to 350℉
-
in your stand mixer, whisk together 1 1/2+ cups flour;
1 tsp baking soda;
1 1/2 tsp baking powder;
cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, allspice, and cloves, in descending quantity,
until all the pie spices are integrated throughout the dusty flour power.
on your stove top, over low heat, melt together:
1/4 cup brown sugar;
3/4 cup raw demerara sugar;
3 T egg replacement powder;
2 T apple cider vinegar;
1/2 cup non-dairy milk;
10 T vegan butterish;
3 T unrefined organic coconut oil;
vanilla.
(it should get stirred often enough to make a soupy, pasty mess.)
add the wet to the dry,
along with 10-12oz (2/3-3/4 can pumplestiltskin puree)
and mix it into a blarpity wet mass of messy mush!
-
it helps to have whoopie pie pans (which i do) greased and ready to go.
but i'll bet parchment and patience work almost as good in a pinch.
spoon even scooples into each circle, so that your piecakes are relatively uniform,
and bake them for 11-13 minutes depending on your oven.
guys!!!
these are too freakin' good.
and, they're almost like a solid-form pudding,
inasmuch as they melt away to fluff inside your mouth.
that's no joke.
*
rules is rules,
and i follow my self-imposed setlist with professional commitment to the process.
i tattooed a very surprising young man yesterday.
self-made, and self-motivated, and successful as heckfire.
i like being around motivated members of the community.
the coast-in-on-the-minimum jerks of the area are NOT really who we're targeting
for our artistic enterprises over at AMPERSAND TATTOO,
although we will take all their money.
after all, a grand don't come for free,
and movie checks don't generate themselves.
however,
as time passes, and the place fills up with more and more and MORE awesomeness,
i'm hopeful that we'll attract ore active participants,
and fewer F-around-bounders.
not that we're hip deep in mediocre mendicants,
but y'know what's better than not many of those?
NONE of those.
haha.
wishful thinking, perhaps, but it's nice to have goals,
even if they're not in fact in keeping with the overall aesthetic of the region.
in the interim i'm hoping y'all all assume we're not talking about YOUR ideas,
and come through with some stacks on stacks on stacks for y'boiz...
falafels and fairgrounds and mutha-b!tchin' sandwiches ain't cheap, son,.
i'm not sayin', i'm just sayin';
never quiet, never soft.....
No comments:
Post a Comment