y'feel me?
no?
c'mon....
what are you?
and A*-hole?
october the 30th is today.
now do you get it?
still no?
what the actual F*, bro.
ok.
ok.
OK.
lemme just tell you what's poppin' right quick:
it's MISCHIEF NIGHT, man!
toilet tissued tree branches!
soapy messages on windows!
shaving cream under door handles!
flaming dog poop EVERYwhere.
now you feel me, don'tcha?
hell yeah!!
it's MISCHIEF NIGHT!
go commit some petty nuisance-making.
it's good for you.
you know what else is good for you?
uh-huh.
treats.
and who makes more treats than i do?
NObody!
because i know what's important,
and i know the rules.
that's riiiiiiiight.
too much is the right amount,
and a great big giant thiccc cookie can't be bad, can it/
nope.
not eve one little eentsy-teentsy-weentsy tiny little baby bitty-bit.
cookie pie is legit.
chocolate cookie pie is 2 legit.
chocolate chocolate chip cookie pie is 2 legit 2 quit.
frosted, sprankled choco-choco-chip cookie pie is the TRUTH.
check the teleport:
WOOOOORD!!!
you just take cookie dough,
and a cast iron pan,
and biggerize the whole idea of a cookie.
this mofo is 2"+ thick,
and soft,
and rich,
and soooooo chocolaty,
and there are MORE choco chips on top,
and then those candy-cornelius colored spranks,
and then those two-tone hollow weiners of frostin'.....
MORE MORE MORE, like rebel yells, neighbors.
that's what i'm on over here.
here's the deets for your own at-home baking journey:
oven? preheated. temperature? 375℉.
bowl? medium and metal, for aesthetics.
ingredients? numerous, and measured as follows:
-
10 T vegan earth balance butts;
1/2 tsp salt;
1/2 cup cocoa;
2 tsp vanilla;
1 cup brown sugar;
-
add 3 T non dairy milk;
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce;
1/2 cup chocolate chips;
stir up-
now, activate it with:
2 1/2 cups flour;
plus,
MORE cocoa, probably, too, because rules is rules;
heavy chocolate is a commitment to being awesome.
make the choice, and be awesome.
2 tsp bakey powpow;
1 tsp bakey soda;
-
i line my pa with parchment.
it looks sexxxxy, it cleans easy, and the whole pie pulls up and out in one motion.
that's expert.
y'just press the dough down flattish, and level, and even,
and let it do it's thing for about 20-25 minutes.
give it at least that long to cool off,
and then it's time to frost it up.
use whatever frosting you like.
i've been roughhousing some creamchee'-style off-the-cuff,
fast and loose, for the last few days, and i'll tell you something, friends-
i LIKE it like that.
***********
i do as i please,
and i do what i like.
these days it's costume partying and baking all the chocolates.
tonight is the last mad dash to hallowe'en dress-up readiness.
i'm ready to run for it, too.
but first,
crabtree and i are gonna run through the rain-soaked slick leafy obstacle course
of a post-flood woodsly autumn trail of two,
so that he ca leave me the eff aloe while i glue a bunch of stuff together.
he's no help,
but he sure is cute.
sort of the opposite of me.
he's adorably weird looking and a total nuisance,
whereas i'm sorta busted, but kind of dope.
that's a thing.
for what it's worth,
i think i'll stick with what i've got,
and leave the lovely looks and stinky winks to him;
never quiet, never soft.....
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