pizza is TOO damned dope;
like,
i could literally eat it for every meal,
and never feel as though i was missing out on something!
in fact,
yesterday,
we shared a pizza from the spot next door to the studio,
with all sorts of vegetable hottness on top,
even though i already knew i had some expert AF pizza dough proofing
in the fridge at home for later in the evening.
yup.
pre-pizza pizza?
hell yes.
i definitely doo-doo that freaky sh!t.
but what i realllllllly do is make incredible homemade superfresh turbo-elite
warrior-poetic overloaded vegan pizza pie!!!
teleport:
PEE EYE ZEE ZEE AYY!!!!!
word up.
dudes,
as soon as i got home after work,
or, at least,
immediately after feeding crabtree the frenzied shark-bullet battle-beast,
i got the oven's convection whirlwind spinnin',
and fired that bad boy up to 485℉.
i also divided my already prepared and brutally bulked-up dough into thirds,
and kept two out on the table, reactivating.
also, i stretched them grandma-style in advance on some circular pans,
which had been lightly buttered to get that crispy-crisp on the undercarriage.
that's smart.
from there, i had plenty of prep to do while the oven got crunk'ded.
mmhmmm.
caramelizing onions;
heavily energizing a serious buffalo sauce;
pepperomeo and julietting some homemade red lentil seitan sausages;
tamari-glazing and semi-steam-heating halved baby brussels-style sprouts.....
i had moves gettin' made on top of moves gettin' made,
and i even made sure to fire up some fried garlic sprankles,
using up an entire aged summer garlic bulb to do so.
that's a thing,
because rules is rules, man.
nice.
y'wanna get close-up on the highlight reel?
okay.
check it:
BUFFZIES!!!
the sauce is essential to success here,
and my on-the-go-go go-to goes to eleven.
that's the truth,
and that's half a stick of butterish,
and 1/4 cup of texas pete ho'sauce,
plus 2 tsp sriracha;
a heavy shake of GPOP (that's both Garlic Powder AND Onion Powder, new kids);
1 T nootch;
1/2 tsp paprika;
1/2 tsp HOT paprika;
2 tsp agave...
combine that with cubed seitan,
and most of a head of cauliflower,
over an extended period of time,
and you've got something great for your plate.
real talk.
i laid down some spinach, added daiya cheddar,
a little red onion, the garlic, and allllll that seitanic cauli-wobblin',
and when it came out of the onion about 15 minutes-ish later,
i blasted it with MORE red onion, scallions, and cilantro sprankles.
too much is the right amount,
and triple tops sounds good to me!!
***********
there's a whole other one, too, kids.
teleport:
BRUSSIES FOREVER!!!
damn,
my go-to pizza somehow got more expert than ever.
i credit the pepperonified red lentil seitan sausages, of course.
that sh!t was heroic.
caramelized onions are great.
that sausage was tremendously flavorful.
the brussels sprouts?
c'mon, bro.
with a little braising, and a tamari glaze?
that's earthy, salty, leafy lusciousness in all the best ways.
crushed tomatoes and daiya mozzarella helped, too.
however,
with a touch of ribboned radicchio and those mandatory fried garlic jauns?
this little mutha-effer was a BANGER.
mmmmmmm.
double pizzas is what you need,
if what you need is to be rewarded as a human being for all that you do on this earth.
ha!
besides,
i'd already HAD pizza earlier.
how much pizza is acceptable?
ALL the pizza.
don't be dumb.
***********
today is the day, neighbors.
friday the 13th.
that's unlucky?
maybe.
or, perhaps it's awesome?
i guess we'll find out before the stroke of midnight, right?
i'm not saying i'm jinx-proof-
far from it.
but,
i am implying that perpetually hard-style hexes,
b!tchily witchcrafted by a coven of exes,
may already have a senior priority claim on my bad luck riot extravaganza.
so, the date isn't going to be the reason for misfortune
so much as previous dates may well be.
in the meantime,
i'm traipsing around the woods with this dog,
daring black cats to cross us,
and stepping on cracks (in butts),
and sounding like a broken record, surrounded by mirrors,
at the studio all dang day.
something is bound to happen,
and i'm ready to experience it in all it's full hockey-masked woodsly chase scene glory;
never quiet, never soft.....
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