the last day in april

it stopped raining,
but it is freezing cold outside,
and really windy.
which, of course, is perfect, since keep-it-real barbarian warriors would want low temps
and war winds to be blowing anyway.
and if this keeps up, and the rain keeps away, then MayDay is gonna be a dope day of bonfire hottness.
(of course, i have to rework some huge dude-guy triiiiiiiiibal before any berserker funtime happens, aaand it has purple jesters in it, too. by my math, thats two wrenches in one, so i win.)
fire. beltaine purification. refreshing renewal.
this MayDay, i fully expect each and every one of you who is not an effervescent,
cookie-cuttin' sodababy to burn some shi-. light fires, y'heard? i'm sayin'.

today is a travel day.
 im going to get tattooed for the first time in months, by this guy. 
i'm ready, i guess. i'm also a little bit sick, out of nowhere, which figures, since i've cancelled one too many times already. so cold or not, its on, ya'll. feverskin and flu-like cough be damned,
i'm leaving with some amount of a blue rock lobster down my thigh...ouch.
as usual, i choose the wrench. my immune system is NOT impressed.

if you haven't read about the hottness that is battle bards yet, please do so. that guy, Egil Skallagrimsson,
was writing fresh rhymes and choppin' heads like he had to use up some store credit or somethin'.
the idea that being a battle-beast is not exclusive of being smart appeals to my own vanity,
pretty hard.
warrior poets. writing the so-dope lyrics to the song of your own life.
epic sagas, ya'll, in the first person narrative.
in Norse countries, bards are called skalds. how dope is that?! anything named after something as superbly
oxymoronic as a 'water burn' has got my vote for hot fiery flavor. i'm sayin', yo, c'mon...
homophone or not, hot fire+water=steam. word up.
scalding skalds scolding weak-sauce weaklings.

what do you know about frank miller?
i can tell you a few things:
he's dope. he wrote the original paper versions of 'sin city' & '300', he wrote the best stories about comic book characters like Batman, Daredevil, Elektra, & Ronin, which pretty much indirectly laid the groundwork for samurai jack, the cartoon. go buy some of his stuff. on the real, he can tell a story. books, with pictures, for grown-ups.
(there's usually some boobs, too)

i am sending out a special first-class request to the secret universal plan:
i want my fire to be so hot, and my lava lungs and superheated heartbeat to be so volcanic,
that even on 104 degree days my breath comes out as steam, like its 20 below.....
scalding skalds, battle bards, warrior poets.
dont forget, ya'll, after midnight, BURN.
byth tawelwch, byth llaith