Saturday, May 12


my friend meryl had a berfday yesterday.
she's on the opposite side of america, 
and usually on the opposite side of our arguments, too.
portland left relative to my proximity to portland right-
she's been my friend for sixteen or seventeen years.
that's a decent span of time by any collection of calendars-
even though she's nowhere nearby,
i still made her (and me) a cake.
there's always time for cake,
and there doesn't ever really even need to be a reason 
beyond the fact that cake is expert,
and experts love cake.
chocolate cake is especially good,
so i specially delivered one into the universe straight from the oven to my mouth.
FYI- i'm celebrating berfy days with or without you.
check the teleport:
simple, but still so rich and rewarding.
how dense a bomber was this big brown block?
pretty flippin' heavy-duty, dudes.
i went exxxtra on the cocoa,
because i read that it helps with information retention,
and i'm trying to hold onto the spirit and memory of this rough week.
if we forget, we repeat, and i'm all set with all of that. 
thanks anyway, but no thanks.
even though it's thiqqqqq af, i'll still hand over the recipe:
preheat the oven to 350℉ (convection if you're blessed with the option)
grease a 9" springform pan, as usual.
in your remarkably righteous upright stand mixer,
cream together:
1 stick vegan butter (8T);
1/2 tsp salt;
2 tsp vanilla;
1+ cup organic sugar;
2/3 cup non-dairy vanilla yogurt-
whisk well, and gently add in:
~1/2 cup cocoa
2 1/2 cups flour;
3 T agave;
1 cup non-dairy milk;
1 tsp ea bakey kapowder and bakey soda.
whip it into as light and fluffy a batter as you can, 
and spoon it over and spread it evenly into that greasy pan, man.
i gave it thirty seven minutes in the oven,
but you do what you think is best-
i don't know anything about what you're working with, 
so test the center, and see if it's ready first. 
cool it completely,
then frost it up with some specialty jauns.
2 cups powdered sugar;
2 tsp vanilla;
4 T vegan butts;
3 T vegan creamchee';
s'milk added 1 T at a time, until it's fluffy as heck.
easy easy easy easy!
then what?
then you do the thing that you do if you're smart,
and cool,
and ready to experience cake the way it should be:
you freak it off with some sprankles.
tha's how you know you're doing it right, man.
the better the spranks, the better you'll feel.
i had those iridescent magic dots at hand,
and they turned it up to eleven, no question. 
and the i ate a F*ing lot of cake.
i did.
consideration, kindness, attention, consistency, and thoughtfulness.
^^^ dudes! ^^^^^
i had a short but impact-heavy chat with a good friend and trusted confidant,
he asserted that my expectations of others are NOT unrealistic.
and also that those qualities are really at the center of any relationship.
it's nice to get a professionally-informed third-party opinion sometimes.
i mean, objectivity is HARD, 
and emotional investments make it even harder.
it's a great relief to know that while i may or may not be an A*-hole,
i'm probably not an A*-hole for valuing those traits, at least. 
i keep bumping into people i barely know,
but that i feel inexplicable, but genuine, affection for.
it's true.
nothing romantic, even though they're all women.
just a surprising sense of warmth and an honest connection.
it's a little weird, four separate folks, four separate times in one week, 
but it's not unwelcome.
i guess i'm just comforted by the idea that there are those kinds of women
out there being casually competent and capable and communicative-
sure, i met them in the tattoo studio, so the circumstances weren't exactly serendipitous-
they keep coming back, and that says something encouraging-
...well, yeah.
but, while it's likely they just appreciate good tattoos,
i appreciate good people, 
which makes me even more motivated to make good tattoos.
and if thosee good people happen to contribute to the dialogue 
and add to the overall narrative of AMPERSAND TATTOO,
then it's a win-win, really, 
and i'm pretty psyched that during what has otherwise been a bummer week 
the secret universal vanilla skyline blueprint plotted a course
for overlapping instances of interpersonal prowess, progress, and process
at a purely platonic, and genuinely respectful level, for me and my clients/friends.
i'm sure that's normal for other guys and dolls,
but it's a novel rarity for me.
shoutouts to effortlessly excellent ladies,
and to unforced interpersonal active participation.
i appreciate all of it,
and i'm glad to know that y'all exist;
never quiet, never soft.....

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