i might be a little bit gross...
we ordered a pizza, but delivery was gonna take FORever-
so while we waited, we picked up a whole other 'nother pizza,
from a clearly superior pizza place down the street.
that's a pizza appetizer before the pizza arrived.
that's a lot of pizza in an hour.
because memorial day is synonymous with grilled meats and big drinkies,
and that's 100% NOT my thing,
i went hard on mexican monday while still keeping it really real with
some savage stormswept raging gypsy berserker pizza party hottness.
no brewskis, no grills, just me, my homie dylan,
some homemade semi-semolina dough,
and a full-force push to consume MORE pizza.
too much is the right amount,
and once the pizza gates are flung wide open,
it's pretty flippin' hard not to turn it up to eleven.
check the teleport:
PEE EYE ZEE ZEE AYY!
the third pizza was the charm, neighbors.
far and away the best of the bunch,
and with all that nacho-taco-mexico-exxxplosivo on top,
we had ourselves a F*ing feast.
like, do you see how much good stuff is on that big mutha??
c'mon, man- anybody can make a regular pizza,
but to make a magnificent masterpiece like this, after two other pizzas,
with fullness doing it's damnedest to derail my appetite's creative surges?
that's where being expert at shark-gluttony really has a chance to shine through.
if i wasn't an elite vegan overindulgence operator, i might not have pulled it off.
lucky for us, i'm not ever trying to bring the weak volume to the party.
only loud, fresh, hardness for your F*ing FACE!
the dough was fast and dirty-
turn your oven up to 480℉
in your upright stand-up stand mixer, combine:
1 cup semolina flour;
1 cup a.p. flour;
3 T olive oil;
1 1/2 tsp salt;
1 pkg fast-actin' yeast;
2/3 cup warm water, w/ 1 tsp bread-machine yeast stirred in;
2 tsp sugar.
knead it for ten minutes, until it's smooth and shiny and tight.
let it rise while the oven preheats-
they should be ready at about the same time.
i made some ho'sauce and nootch-boosted refried beans.
that was our foundation layer.
15 oz of fat free pinto mash,
and a little onion, GPOP, a fistful of nootch, and a few glugs of ho'sauce.
it's SO easy to make turbo-dope refritas, i dunno why anybody would leave 'em as-is.
that's lazy, and that's not invited.
there's poblano, jalapeno, and sweet lil baby jauns on there-
and black beans,
and red onions,
and fried garlic sprankles, obvi.
(rules is rules)
and that's just all that went on BEFORE baking.
there were also scoops of habanero fire-roasted tomato salsa, too.
from scratch, naturally.
after that, the real MVPs showed up to claim the title-
scallions, and cilantro,
and AVO-F*ING-CADO, bro.
real mo-fo's do real sh!t,
and nothing is realer than triple threat pizza party time.
THREE PIZZAS in three hours.
that's how we doo-doo that freaky-dikiness around here.
the wolf moon magic is here, man.
i feel it.
today should be some kind of amazing.
the wild animal magnetism is at an all-time high,
and the summer is sorta underway, too.
i've got tattoos and tacos and terrier-time to instigate,
and ideas to investigate,
and punk-A* drunks to castigate,
and it's all really happening,
so i guess i'll just wrap this up and get to it;
never quiet, never soft.....