holiday treats.
i mean, if i'm gonna be up early taking care of dog and house stuff,
i may as well also activate some holiday treatsy magic for myself while i'm already
milling about in the very deep, dark, wee early hours of the morning.
y'know?
yeah, you do.
so,
in order to get excited, and maybe also please and punish my whole body simultaneously
with a sugary overload of awesomeness,
i made some chocolate bars.
ok. really, and more specifically, i made some gluten-free oatmeal chocolate bars.
neighbors, they're flippin' awesome-
check the teleport:
YEAH!!!!
who needs gluten when you've got this much hottness ready to go?
uh-huh.
and that double-drizzle on top?
that's vegan gluten-free white chocolate, bro.
i got that expert two-tone zone fully stocked with what's dope,
AND i got those big ol' fattie-boombattie sparkly sprankles, too.
word up.
i like them, they're very pretty.
anyway,
i have a 9" square pan, man, and i know how to use it-
you want the recipe for these?
sure.
i got what you need-
-
*
GLUTEN-FREE CHOCOLATE OATMEAL HOLIDAY SQUARES!
-
grease a pan (it doesn't have to be a square, use what you got, 8-9".
-
preheat your oven to 350℉
-
in a medium mixing bowl, combine:
1 cup gf quick oats;
1/4 cup sugar;
1/3 cup bob's gf ap baking blend;
1 tsp vanilla;
1/4 cup unsweetened dry small-flake coconut;
3 T cacao;
1/4 cup gf oat flour.
-
melt 3 T vegan butter,
add it in, with 3 T non-dairy milk, and stir until it forms a crumbly dough,
that sticks together when squeezed.
-
press it evenly into your greased pan, and bake it for 11 minutes, like a cookie.
-
on your stovetop, in a small saucepan, over lowish heat,
melt 3/4 pkg vegan dark chocolate chips;
with 2 T powdered sugar;
2-3 T non-dairy milk;
1 tsp vanilla.
that's your topping ready to go once melted-
spread across the top, it makes these flippin' magnificent, friends.
seriously.
i melted up a few tablespoons of king david's white chocolate vegan jauns,
and piped 'em over the top-
(you could use a spoon, i s'pose, too; i just always clip the corner off a sandwich bag.
i could maybe get a sire-specific purpose-driven baggie, but, i already have sandwich bags,
despite never ever ever using them for sandwiches.)
...so, they get two types of chocolates,
and then the spranks, for good measure.
why?
because too much is the right amount.
and once it was all cooled and set and firm, i cut all those sorta symmetrical
almost equal squares with a metal spatula.
dudes!
these are sweet, literally and figuratively.
on the ones, i don't ever double boil chocolate, ever.
i assume the microwave works, but i don't eff with those, really.
i'm a stove man, m'man.
but really, they're candy and cookie at the same time, and they're molto delicioso all day.
that's the truth.
i sure do like treats, as i've mentioned a LOT, and often.
that's because i like 'em that much, buddy.
*
vegan gluten-free chocolate oatmeal.
so, yeah, that's a thing.
also, unrelated, but very relevant to my personal well-being:
it's been single digits every single morning for like a month.
i'm a very slender fella, folks.
and i'm cold next to a heater with a sweater on.
that's no fun.
i'm frozen. my spidery skeleton hands are nearly numb,
and unpleasant to touch or be touched by.
i don't hate winter.
i don't even hate the dark dark darkness of these dwindling days.
i don't hate the cold.
i DO hate being cold, when i would rather regulate the hot fire from within my heart,
and let that particular flame-spouting cast-iron magma-makin' furnace of fury
keep my extremities a little more comfortable,
instead of just stoking the emotional berserker of my infinite nature.
y'know?
maybe not, but i assure you, there's spitfire and greased lightning locked away in me,
and when it gets loose, i'm positive my fingers and toes will feel much better;
never quiet, never soft.....
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