PEE EYE ZEE ZEE AYY!!!!!

maaaaaaaaaaan,
i F*ing LOVE pizza.
all the pizza.
all the dough.
all the supersexxxy soul-supreme surefire fresh-to-deathness.
yup.
pee eye zee zee ayy!
that's my thing.
my go-to for greatness for my whole fat F*ing face.
if you ain't about the pizza game,
i truly feel badly for you, son-
i got 999 problems, but a slice ain't one.
last night, i made some sicilian superiority,
on a semi-semolina, cornmeal-enhanced fluffed-the-eff-up square dough, yo.
i did, and it did somethin' special to my senses-
check the muh-fuhh'n teleport:

Y'BOIIIIII!!!!
yeeeeeeeeeah, i know about what's good, guys.
y'see that crust?
it's expert.
you see those fiery 'ronis on top?
neighbors, i got the homemade meatlessness on deck, and goes to eleven.
that's a thing.
crushed tomatoes, caramelized onions, fried garlic sprankles......
rules is rules, and those are the house jauns at the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
mmhmmm.
from-scratch stretchy tapioca-tofu chee'? man, if you don't know, y'better try to find out-
in fact, you better ask somebody asap, because otherwise y'all're missing out hard.
...and that's no joke.
real talk,
a good pizza is still the solution to most of what ails me-
for example,
i couldn't call my father and wish him a happy berfday-
i mean, not without a ouija board, anyway,
so instead i compromised, and made a pizza he'd never have eaten,
with vegetables he'd avoided his whole life at all costs,
and somehow, i still felt like i was close to him while i ate-
he talked about pizza as much as i do really-
while he may have had a verrrrry limited palate for the superfancy unnecessariness
of my radical super-elite vegan new hottness,
he could still terrorize a 'well-done', a.k.a slight;y burnt, pepperoni pie.
yeah.
so, this one was for him, but made to actually be so much better in most ways-
that's the move, anyway, isn't it?
to do a bit better than the ones who went first?
i dunno.
but i DO know that a good pizza, especially a sicilano supreme, is the TRUTH.
man,
it had alllllll the right things-
baby spinach on the bottom,
shredded and MINCED daiya mozz-
that's the pro tip:
chop your daiya shreds even smaller, and they'll melt 11x more expertly.
wordimus prime, try it and find out.
then those caramelized onions,
and two fat thiccc stripes of san marzano crushed tomatoes, bro.
don't use sh!tty tomatoes, if you do, you're an A-hole-
did i also activate some seared baby grape tomatoes?
of course i did- too much is the right amount, buddy.
don't be dumb.
then the homestyle tapioca-tofu chee',
and those from-scratch red lentil seitan vegan 'ronis....
the fried garlic came through with flying colors,
followed by a pre-AND-post bake blast of parsley spranks,
and a gentle from-shoulder-height dusting of nootch,
to keep it exxxtra exxxtra.
-
now that you know how it is constructed,
lemme tell you a lil  baby bit about the dough:
-
*
SICILIANO DEPTH!
-
in your indomitably dope stand mixer, withy the dough hook affixed,
knead together:
1 1/2 cups flour;
1/2 cup semolina flour;
3 T fine cornmeal;
1 T vegan butter;
1 pkg regular-actin' yeast;
1 tsp bread-machine yeast;
2 tsp salt;
1ish cup warm water-
knead it all for ten minutes, then shape it into a tight, firm ball,
cover it and refrigerate it for 12 hours-
preheat your oven to 480℉ convection-style,
and stretch your rested dough into an olive-oiled half-pan baking tray,
you know, the 10" x 14" (or whatever they are) jauns,
and let it blossom into fluffy beauty while the oven gets hot.....
how simple is that??
you got it, guys, and you're gonna get it, too.
yes!
*
for those of you who can't scroll through this compendium of recipes,
here's some links for you b!tch-A*:
pepperoni.
and also:
sticky chee'.
you're welcome.
***********
where the heck does the time go???
december 8th?
already?
c'mon, man, take it easy-
it's six degrees outside.
that's cold.
in fact, it's quite a ways below freezing, really.
i'm inside feeling the chill in my drafty domain,
and i've got the oven on, the heat up, and a space heater radiator chugging along
like that little engine that could, only it isn't,
and i'm still cold in a sweatshirt, b.
yup.
it's all really happening, and it's not warm at all.
i guess i look better in layers-
the farther from naked i am, the more approachable i feel;
never quiet, never soft.....