RABBITS!

on the first of the month,
we say rabbit! rabbit!
everybody knows that.
and also, on the first of the month we make treats.
huh?
well, yeah, i know it's later than that now,
but i still made 'em then.
duh.
rules is rules, and everybody knows that too.
my cinnamon bun game is expert.
i'll say that out loud and proud.
from the outside in, and the inside out, everything about 'em goes to eleven.
check the teleport:

WOOOOOOOORD.
that's how you march into march like a victorious army.
f'reall-realsies.
the dough? dope!
buttery cinnamon brown sugar sexxxiness?
just like my man d'angelo, y'heard?
and that drizz'? c'mon. you already know.
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the key to great cinnamon bunrolls?
too much is the right amount.
that's it.
half a cup seems like enough brown sugar?
maybe almost double it.
a lil baby bitty patty-pat-pat of vegan butter is recommended?
maybe throw a heap in there.
if they're gooier, and stickier, and sweeter, and thicker
than your average ordinary everyday normal jauns?
......you win!!!
yeah.
if they can be better, then make 'em better. obviously.
who wants worse buns? not me, man.
how do we make these?
easy.
y'just do this:
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BUNZINIS!!
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preheat your oven to 375℉
-
warm up 1 cup non-dairy milk w/ 4 T melted vegan butter, and 2 tsp vanilla.
-
in your trusty stand-upright mixer, combine:
3 cups king arthur ap flour;
1 tsp salt;
1 pkg fast-actin' yeast;
1 tsp bread machine yeast (like from the jar, dude);
1/4 cup raw sugar.
add that cuppa warm stuff, and knead it up with that manly dough hook
for 11 minutes, and let it rise, covered for 15 more.
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meanwhile, in a smaller mixin' bowl, chop up:
1/4 cup + 1 T vegan butter (that's 5 T );
3/4 cup dark brown sugar;
1/2 tsp vanilla;
1 tsp cinnamon;
1/4 tsp nutmeg;
2 T quick oats...
that's that melty magic for the middles.
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roll out the dough into a big ol' rectangle on a lightly floured surface,
and spread that sugary cinnamixture from edge to edge to edge to almost-edge.
yeah, leave an inch across one long length, to seal 'em shut.
moisten that strip, and roll the whole thing up tight, finishing with that seam tucked underneath.
rest it for a minute, and cut it in half,
then in half again, then into thirds, for a dozen spirals of pure hottness.
i baked these in a big 10" tin, lined with parchment,
after allowing the arranged raw rolls to rise another 'nother 15 minutes.
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i started at twenty minutes in that hot convection oven,
then i turned it up to 400 luscious fahrenheit degrees,
and gave it eleven more.
that did the trick.
crispity edges, gooey bubbly molten sugar centers, and golden tops.
THAT'S how you do it right.
and while they're still warm, i gave 'em a whole cup of thick-as-hell icing.
yeah!
powdered sugar, s'milk, and vanilla,.
easy.
lots of the first, some of the second, almost none, comparatively, of the third.
yup.
and you see how fresh they are.
i ate six of them by myself.
i just couldn't help it.
shark gluttony IS the correct way to start off the month.
...so that's how i started it.
*
i'm busy.
like, tax return busy.
y'know?
everybody got their exxtra dollars back, and they sure seem to insist
for me to have some of them.
which works out, because that's exactly what i want, as well.
and here's the thing:
i like reading a chapter or two at work in between appointments,
i like having a few minutes to paint in between appointments,
but these days,
i only have time to, like, eat a little cookie crumb and get back to work,
and that's about it.
the gettin' is good at the mo', so i'mma git it while it's here.
some folks think they have enough money.
i know better.
and i do better.
MORE work and no play is the order of the day.
i'm a working person, and that's what i was designed to do,
so i'm acting accordingly;
never quiet, never soft.....