anything could happen...

...but it usually doesn't.

i'm sayin',
if snow days mean anything can happen,
then what do abominable blizzard days mean?
how about:

climbing trees?
my long, simian, ape-hangin' arms are good for a few things, my ninjas.

carrying faggots?
dry branches, fresh off the trunk of a hemlock,
delivered fresh and in full effect to the barbarian pyre pit.
that's word.

ten-tiered smoky no-joke fires?
snow turns into water which hates fire,
and starts a fight with wood,
which when wet hates fire,
which normally loves wood.
(that's what she said)
ok then,
how about wet-legged, numb fingered, stinky stogie stoking?
after all,
if you can't smell your flaming firespit,
you can smell like inflamed fire sh!t.
word.
what about nonstop sore back brokeback near-insurmountable shoveling?
after the plow guy comes by just to somehow make it even worse?
yeah,
anything could've happened,
but mostly, the same ol' stuff is what did.
still,
since the woodsly goodness repays gratitude and generosity in kind,
i can honestly say the day was lived well.
in spite and defiance of the dopeness-dampening dismalness of the doo-doo buttery unfortunate series of unfolding events in other news.
after all,
what's more important than
good peoples, good food, good times, 'the princess bride', wii golf,
and all that other woodsly and/or good stuff, anyways? 


jess condensed the dvd collection,
again.
we have cases and cases of caseless dvds,
so she added the still-jacketed ones into the mix.
it saves space, ya'll.
a whole holy helluva lotta space.
which we need,
now that we've gotta hit the road.
lemme tell ya:
i am not psyched about moving.
at all.
packing up all your stuff,
and then getting rid of so much other stuff,
and then finding out you need so much other 'nother stuff.
and then finding a rent,
or buying some land,
or getting a stupid flippin' mortgage,
and then deciding if it hurts your butthole less to stay at your old work,
where you get screwed every single day by people you know,
or,
to find a new place to work and get screwed every day by strangers.
everybody who's ever moved knows what's up.
headaches, heartaches, backaches, maybe even toothaches.
unlike a snow day,
moving day can only ever happen one way:
never quiet, never soft.....