mauled.

my woodcraft is improving.
my berserker axe-warrior chopping skills are, too.
and my viking vengeance/yardwork tool collection is growing.
hewing.
that's what's poppin'.
i got this hornet-hued hammerhead wedge-axe,
and it 'splodes average-sized chunks of log into much smaller ones.
but sometimes, not always, but sometimes,
you just need more.
that's why i'm also rockin' out so hard with THIS mutha-ucka:

i mean,

a sledgehammer axe?

holy sh!t that makes the barbarian boners pop right off!!!!

and it's red & black, too.

i nicknamed it...

i mean, it's obvious yeah?

darth maul.

c'mon.

and this one's torso is guaranteed indestructible.

so there's that, too.

sorry, obi-wan.

an eight pound hunk of forged steel mayhem.

that's the recipe for stormswept stress relief.

axe + chop + hammer + bash = doooooooooooooooope.

it's like an all-in-one awesomizer.

there's something so super soothing,

knowing i can come home and destroy pretty much every single thing in sight.

with a norse dwarven hellhammer at that.

uh-huh.

norse dwarven hellhammer.

someone's been hittin' the nerd books a little too hard.

i'll let ya'll in a little secret too:

i found an even more awesome woodsplittin' smashmaster yesterday.

and,

it was in my dream last night.

i swear.

i think my 4 a.m. woodstove schedule is playing with my mind.

or else it was an omen, an' that.

don't worry.

i'll probably pick it up tonight.

it's a solid steel cheese-wedge,

and it's even flippin' heavier than ol' darth up there.

twelve pounds of powerful punishment.

that means it goes to eleven,

and then keeps on going after that.

wu-TANG! that's some serious sh!t.

i want it.

hell, i need it.

if you keep an ear to the north around dusk,

you'll probably hear some thunder.

i'll be bringing it, for sure.

hewing.

never quiet, never soft.....