breakfast sandwiches.

oh. Oh. OHHH.
whaaaaaat-what?! my ninjas.
breakfast 'guinis...
...you know it.
i fried up a batch of 'em by request;
so all credit is due my wifey,
for her insightful culinary mien,
and her perpetual shark-gluttonous hunger.
(keep moving, keep eating, stay alive.)
it's a non-denominational secular-sunday way to kick off this day.
wafer-thin seasoned tofu slices,
crispy on the outside, soft as silk in the center-
seared and spiced-up with g'pop,
(that's garlic powder and onion powder)
and molto coarse-ground black peppercorns,
with vegan gravy,
faux bacon strippers,
and a toasted soy-buttery hard-style roll.
word the F* up, hungry hippos,
these jauns are like magic treats.
...and are those mapled-up soysages?
you betcha, b!tchbags.
a powerful blend of semi-healthy,
truly delicious, fattie-boombattie greasy diner comfort,
fresh from the Fortress galley.
we doo-doo that guilty-pleasure sh!t, duders.
believe it.
***********
do y'all like the phrase 'weather permitting'?
i do.
because it's like invoking the wrath of ma nature,
and all her firmamental fury.
the vault of the heavens will open and call forth
a divine host of hail, snow, rain, sleet,
and whatever directional winds most likely to befoul
the best of intentions.
it's been 60 degrees for days, neighbors.
and i've been 'working' instead of home improving.
there's wood what needs stacking,
and sheds what need building,
and the weather seems like it's perfectly suited
to that situation.
but i've got to wait until i'm not languishing
in the tattoo studio to get busy with my business.
which means:
on my days OFF,
weather permitting-
two days of early-dark doo-doo
in which i've got to hustle and bustle my way to the finish line.
you know where this is going, right?
mmm-hmmm.
it's not even supposed to be kinda nice out this week.
the forecast is more like a smegma-sleeved foreskin, ninjas.
c'mon.
from sunny and warm whilst i'm
whiling away the viable daylight hours right now,
to a hard-style harshness more fitting for
a cataclysmic calamity of cold and clammy crapola.
somebody somewhere is obviously kidding me.
clouds, darkness, weather, i abjure thee.
good luck with all that.
***********
it's a sunday.
and it's a sunny day.
how trite.
i'll be sure to soak up a ray or so,
and synthesize the good moody vitamins
and seasonal affective destroyers,
before another dirgeful doldrum roosts over these hills.
man, it's a bright (bright) bright (bright) sunshiny day.
all flash and barb.
like a lure, kids.
strike if you must, while the sky is light,
but be prepared for those pesky consequences;
never quiet, never soft.....