delicious. now with added gravy.

whaaaaaaaaat?!!
real ninjas do real things, neighbor.
and when they're done,
they represent some shark-gluttonous hunger-type jauns.
i know it.
and i remedy it.
recognize the teleport:

garlic'd-up and sauteed collard greens!
no vinegary southern greens up in this italian household.
no way, jose. (umm, giuseppe?)
it's straight-up with 11 cloves of garlic.
we doo-doo that breath-stinkin' allium alliance sh!t.
when it's rainy out,
i get busy in my kitchen, kids-
i spent the day boiling up a big, burly batch
of wheaty meaty brown blops.
that's exactly right, ninjas:
seitan!
gluten steaks in full mutha-b!tching effect.
and you'd better believe that.
hours and hours of boiled brothy business,
until the optimum consistency of spongy/chewy thickness
and gastronomic palatability are acquired.
and once i strained the carrots, onions, and celery
out of the cauldron of smoky salty broth,
i boiled up a batch of potatoes, too.
waste not, want not.
those're broth-saturated molto mashed jauns up there.
oh, man.
off-the-chain, neighbors.
hottness unleashed an' that.
-and yes,
those are carmelized onions and browned baby bellas
smothered in butterish on top of the seitan slabs.
 and while we're on the subject,
that IS souped-up brown gravy over everything too.
c'mon.
what am i?
a bad chef A*-hole.
not on your life mutha-lickas.
hmm?
oh, yes,
as a matter of fact,
i DID make some dessert too.

seasonally appropriate rock blocks.
yeah.
rock blocks.
albie rock blocks of big fun.
building blocks for big bootied b!tches, even.
and not booties for large baby feet, either....
whatev', folks;
cookies by the dozens get baked when it's wet out.
what are these, specifically?
cinnamon-nutmeg oatmeal chocolate chip.
if you can't hang out with that complete treat suite,
then we're not friends anymore.
wait,
you never call,
you never visit,
maybe we're already not friends anymore.
awwwwww, man.
well,
on the brighter side,
that means more mutha-forkin' leftovers for ME.
bam-a-lama, ninja.
somebody just turned a frown upside down.
deal with that, son.
i've got an extra dozen, just for work today.
fat bellyholes make for tame reactions.
stay calm, stay fat, stay alive.
that's today's goal set.
thor's day.
no thunder, but plenty of wind.
outside, and inside,
in so many ways,
especially after last night's feast.
ka-splode;
never quiet, never soft.....