blowing up.

undead shambling hordes?
zombie destruction?
real-time serious training for the collapse, duders.
we are all about that here in the white mountains,
and the Fortress is peopled with peoples
who know all about what time it is.
huh?
what time is it?
ZERO hour, obviously.
duh.
this is not a shrill shill drill, guys,
this is the real big action-
we've got all the stuff,
we're making more stuff,
we're taking it to eleven,
and to the future.
believe it.
even the insiders in the industry are down with our flavor.
yuuuuuuuuup.
we're overpreparing, gearing up,
and getting out the word.
you know what that means?
...we're getting that hard-style press, b!tches.
y'ever heard of soldier systems?
no?
you are definitely missing out, then, sucka.
click this link, mutha-'uckas..,
c'mon.
so now you know,
and what's more,
you know you like it.
*
okay, then-
you love being alive.
you love not being eaten alive.
you love surviving the end times like a worthy warrior.
soooo,
you obviously wanna support that survival-type hottness!
you DO want to support your favorite barbarian poet, right?
i hope so.
well then stop procrastinating and get rad.
where's your credit card at?
get it out, neighbors,
and buy some flippin' targets.
like now an' that.
yes.
that's a real thing.
go here.
then,
click on that mass quantity sh!t,
because the object is always more....
and Gimme Some Money, SON!!!
oh, and keep in mind,
i'll know about it if you don't get EXPERT.
start spooning over those movie checks,
in F*ing full effect, right now.
today,
it's target practice,
tomorrow it's life or death.
practice makes perfect?
more like:
perfect practice makes perfect.
and you'll need a lot of targets for that.
did i mention you can get the specs for
our entry-level walking dead elimination rifle
and order one, too, right this minute?
no?
the denial model is ready,
and waiting,
for your greasy sticky little trigger fingers, yo.
then would you like to know more?
then you should be clicking this link, too.
you read that?
good.
you like that free-state assertion jauns, huh?
naturally.
that's because it's dope.
now,
i'll ask again:
who wants to play dress-up?
i need zombies,
i need zombie defenders,
i need it all,
and i need it now.
read the press,
buy a rifle,
practice with our targets,
and get ready.
the life you save will probably be your own,
but those movie checks won't hurt us much either.
unless you're a weak-sauce waterbaby,
you're as excited as i am.
all of it, kids.
it's happening.
big things, good things, everythings;
never quiet, never soft.....