two bucks.

y'know what my favorite thing in the
whole wide world is?
yeah, that, of course.
but y'know what my other other
favoritest most bestest thing is?
uh-huh.
being right.
duders,
i got to experience the righteous rightness
of my half-empty predictions.
yuuuuuuuuuuup.
disney world is a b!tchbag explosion
from the butthole of the devil.
a sh!t-salad sauce splatter of the weakest variety.
how could that be?
what makes the happiest place on earth
less likely to turn frowns upside down,
but rather facilitates just the opposite effect?
well,
you know i loooove crowds, right.
today was a banner day at the park.
like,
record attendance an' that.
lucky mutha-F*ing us, y'all.
what did that entail exactly?
how about lines longer than a shakespearian soliloquy,
rude fat families ponderously clogging the thoroughfares,
starvation-preferable food option attacks,
and crowded causeways of spanish-language screamers
gibbering their way across the whole kingdom.
...magical is one word we could use,
but it would have to refer to a hex or a curse,
and it would definitely have made those sensitive
potterpants waterbabies cry even harder.
hot days,
hard styles,
horrible people,
and a huge tab to overcome...
we took going nowhere to eleven.
neighbors,
just so we're clear:
i'm not ever EVER ever waiting two hours to
ride anything that doesn't have boobs.
oh, MAN!!
that's inappropriate, for sure.
and even less likely on this particular journey
to the realms of recreation, relaxation, and reciprocation.
-
day four, duders,
and the styles just got harder.
*
tomorrow holds a poolside sabbath-type jauns
in store for our ease and enjoyment,
and maybe even a midday 'gator wrasslin' show.
there's more than one way to make a memory,
and not all of those ways are good for you.
if there's a choice,
i'll choose the wrench every time;
never quiet, never soft.....