neighbors,
i thought i was gonna get away with it.
yeah.
making something special for my day-off dinner,
without spending hours and hours in front of the stove.
i really thought i could do it quickly.
it turns out, that was misplaced optimism...
the thing is,
when it's fancy, and it's complicated,
and it's all got to come together and be expert all at once?
ugh.
it takes time.
like, a lot of time...
and then, after that?
it takes a little bit more time.
yup.
so i spanned a serious section of my day off doing that thing i love.
y'know- working hard at treating myself.
yessir.
well, i only did that AFTER i did three hours of responsible adult activities
in the windy woodsly goodness.
mmmhmmm.
i'm talking about yard work, guys.
yuck.
raking, and blowing, and combating the breezy b!tchbaggery wind
from out of the wicked west as it did it's best to not only keep me cold,
but also to doo-doo it's dreadful damnedest to undo my leafy piles.
manual labor is not my preferred manner of expending energy.
sore hands,
and dripping drops of sweat being chilled by the breeze?
lame!
so after a spate of that crap,
i think it's safe to say i HAD to get molto busy on some feasty eats,
to wash away the taste of sandy grit and sh!t from my dusty mustache.
that's a thing.
so,
i fired up some of that new new hottness-
by which i mean: the red lentil mashed seitan cutlet jauns.
uh-huh.
i simmered 'em in a sriracha, and onion,
and macerated double garlic hot chili marinade for an hour or so....
and while that was doing it's thing,
i got even busier, with even more loud fresh hardness for my face.
check the tsunami-type teleport:
thai-ai-ai.
yellow curry, with three kinds of chili peppers,
anaheim, poblano, and jalapeno;
with two colors of potato, red and blue fleshed fingerlings;
over five grain fancy coconut rice?
yuuuuuuuuuuuuuup.
cilantro and fresh basil and coconut flakes;
a few snow peas for accentuated crawnchiness,
and carots celery red onion and lots of garlic, too.
factor in that lime juicy bite, and three forms of cumin?
damn, duders.
that jaundiced jauns was the FIRE!
the heat crept up on you through the coconut milky silkiness,
and the rice tricked you for a second,
until the afterglow stayed on after each swallow,
lighting up all the tastebuds like lanterns.
word up.
hey.
but, like, is that drunken cashew pineapple tofu you see?
it sure is, kids.
tofu, seared and steamed until it has more firmness than squishiness.
that's the key.
then, the veggies go in on high heat...
and after no more than two minutes,
the superior drunken heat beast gets unleashes,
chili garlic paste, and four huge cloves of pressed garlic,
and two more cloves of roughly chopped garlic, and sriracha,
and agave nectar, and red pepper flakes, and cayenne.
in a rice wine vinegar base, with a splish-splash of soy.
volcanic freshness is good for you, probably.
sliced grape tomatoes and cubed pineapple put a little more sweet to it,
and that kept the whole thing from being a firecrackery punishment.
the sugars made it so good, an the spice made it so nice,
but the coconut oil toasted cashews too it to eleven with the crunch,
fried king oyster mushrooms have only one downfall.
hmm?
no.
not the price. good food is worth every penny.
i'm not about to start getting all cheapskatey about quality ingredients.
no way.
that's what poor people do.
and that's gross.
the bummer is that if they get wet at all, they get real fishy.
womp womp.
tempura batter notwithstanding, the oceanic aftertaste left plenty to be desired.
namely,
the absence of a fishbutt flavor, foremost of all.
but,
that cutlet, though, yo.
with the fresh basil sprig all garnishy, and not the least bit garish.
that's what's up.
mae ploy sweet chili sauce glazed,
after the red hot simmer that soaked into it's very essence.
y'know what got it poppin' even more?
the napa cabbage, cilantro, radish, mung bean sprout salad underneath.
that's real.
with a squeeze of that lime,
and a slice of cucumber to scoople it up?
another 'nother edible incredible success has been racked up.
however,
i sliced a chunk out of my thumb on the mandolin blade.
that wasn't so cool.
but,
i muscled through and soldiered on,
and didn't even drip one red droplet onto the veggies.
expert!
was that it?
c'mon.
obviously there had to be MORE.
i mean,
too much IS the right amount.
we had special drinkies, too, y'all.
strawberry virginia coladas in F*ing full effect.
teleport:
crema de coco;
sweet lime juice;
fresh strawberries;
fresh pineapple;
ice;
vanilla seltzer water...
and love.
awwww.
i've got it going on,
and there's no alcohol invited over to ruin it, either.
you know the truth-
it's okay not to drink.
that's an oft overlooked fact,
but it seems to be prominent and pronounced up here
in the denouncing of even one ounce of hooch.
i'm about that life.
*
sweat equity from my efforts in the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress,
and sweating from the spiciness of my shark-gluttonous doings
once i've worked up and whetted my appetite for self-destructive nourishing.
i'm wet with blood, and sweat, and saliva.
i've even got a few tears,
although those are from laughing too hard.
all of it is really happening,
and all of it is taking it's toll.
beat up and worn down,
filled up and hollowed out.
the give and take of this woodsly realm is tougher than ever,
but i think i'm getting better at it.
huh?
rules is rules.
it HAS to hurt if it's to heal.
creative destruction is what i do best;
never quiet, never soft.....
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