Sunday, October 7


one large cast-iron pan,lined with parchment, is where it starts, man.
when you're making a giant gluten-free chocolate chocolate chip brownie,
you start with a 10" heavy-duty, seasoned, manly black pan.
y'feel me?
that's real.
and y'gotta use melted butter,
and y'gotta go extra heavy on the cocoa,
and it wouldn't hurt to add chocolate chips to the s'milk when you heat that up, too.....
look neighbors, if you want the hottness, y'gotta make the hottness;
and that's what i do, duders.
check the teleport:
that's a big burly brownie, for sure.
a circle of the sexxxiest wheat-free fresh-to-deathness i could conjure,
ready to rock and roll from my oven to your face-hole.
y'wanna make one for yourself?
proceed as follows:
preheat your oven to 375℉
line a 10" cast-iron pan with parchment paper, and trim it nicey-nice.
in a medium-sized metal mixing bowl, combine:
1 cup brown sugar;
3 T powdered sugar;
1/2 cup cocoa;
2 tsp baking powder;
1 tsp baking soda;
1/2 tsp salt;
1 tsp xantham gum;
1 cup mama's almond flour blend;
1 cup bob's ap gf flour;
1/2 cup chick pea flour;
1/4 cup vegan dark chocolate chips;
3 T dessicated unsweetened coconut;
3 T tapioca flour.
stir together,
and add in:
1 cup non-dairy milk, warmed,-
with 1 stick melted vegan butter,
2 tsp vanilla;
and 1/4 cup chocolate chips.
fold it all into a floppy. bloppy batter,
and spoon it evenly onto the parchment in that pan.
add a few handfuls of chocolate chips on top, and bake it for 30 minutes.
big barbarian brownness is in F*ing full effect,
just like *that*.
go get a big pan,
and get busy with the best dang gluten-free chocolate chip chocolate cakey jauns
that anybody has ever had.
you can even eat a big ol' wedge of it warm, 
topped with a scoop of vegan ice cream.
but, don't take my word for it......
we went to the fair.
we did.
i didn't actually know how to do that.
so, i kinda did it wrong at first.
that's real.
i was so used to the way i did i back in the day:
looking a animals and avoiding 100% of the animal products and the rides-
i mean, honestly, we still escaped from the whole nasty carnie half of the thingm which was great news...
of course, more recently, just eating alllllll the falafels and leaving has been my thing,
so i had to adjust that, too.
we made it happen, and we made it work, 
and fatty-boombattie naps were had by all the small ones afterwards.
that's the measure of success, isn't it?
if small people pass the eff out, it was done right...right?
i dunno.
it'll take more practice to perfect the interpersonal balance, i suppose.
whatever, guy, i went on the carousel and sh!t,
so i'm not sweating it;

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