BROWN!

how much chocolate is an acceptable level of chocolate?
ummmmm.
are you joking?
i think you know the answer, already, neighbors-
too much is the right amount.
c'mon.
so,
if it's chocolate brownie time, it stand to reason that MORE chocolate is better, right?
oh, yes, indeed, it is.
super-sexxxy thick, rich, overabundant decadence is the proper course of action,
and when i'm gonna activate some expert vegan magic for my mouth,
i always overdo.
i mean, rules is rules.
here's what i'm talkin' about-

SO. MUCH. CHOCOLATE.
the thing about making brownies especially good is the batter.
mmhmmm.
chocolate cake is great.
chocolate brownies are greater.
and the batter is the reason.
that's no joke.
some recipes call for way more sugar than you'd ever be able to feel good about using-
i used to use a whopping mountain of it, myself.
but then i woke up, got smart, and made better moves,
which in turn made better brownies.
and really, who doesn't want to be better?
i'm sayin'- if i can improve myself AND my baked greats,
i'm kind of the champion, aren't i?
bihhhh, i might be.
but, you can be, too, it's not like i'm not gonna share the recipe-
-
*
BROWNIE CAKE!
-
preheat your oven to 375℉
-
grease a 10" cake pan, rectangular brownie pan, or springform, or whatever-
-
in a medium-sized saucepot, on low heat,
melt and combine:
1 stick (8T) vegan butter;
1/2 tsp salt;
1 cup non-dairy milk;
2 tsp vanilla;
1 cup raw sugar;
1/4 cup organic chocolate syrup;
2/3 cup raw cacao powder-
whisk it up, and thoroughly mix the cacao so it's not a lumpy heap of crap-
once warmed and melted and homogeneous, add:
1/4 cup vegan dark chocolate chips (they'll mostly, but not totally melt, which is perfect),
2 1/2 cups a.p. flour;
2 tsp baking powder;
1 tsp baking soda.
stir to blend it all up, and enjoy the slightly puffy, spongy batter you've created-
spoon it out onto your greased container,
and bake that badboi for 30 minutes-
....but FIRST, sprankle some itty-bitty baby-sized chocolate chips all over the top.
mmhhmmmm.
don't skimp out, or you're lame.
-
when it's cooled to room temperature post-bake, slice it up.
yup.
slice it before you finish it off with the exxxtra drizzy-zizzlers.
then freak it out with the dark chocolate ganache-style drips.
yeah!
1/2 cup chocolate chips, 2 T non-dairy milk, 2 T powdered sugar, 1 tsp vanilla,
and a little low heat to temper 'em and make the melt pop off smoothly-
i pipe my over the top through a sandwich baggie-
i do.
if you have some fancy decorator sh!t, i guess use that, man.
but make sure you add MORE chocolate.
that's really the thing.
otherwise, you're just F*ing around,
and brownies aren't for jokes and laughs, kiddo.
they exist to be expert and excellent and that's it.
***********
november is an A*-hole.
it's frickin' freeeeeezin'.
it's dark.
it's F*ing windy, which is total bullsh!t,
and it's not even all that busy a the studio.
i'm not into it, but i'm making the most i can with what i've got.
i've never been a fan, and it's not doing much to win me over, either.
i s'pose that's just how it goes, but that doesn't mean i'm happy about it.
NO thank you.
NO me gusta.
NO vember.
and i didn't shave a dang whisker on my face either.
i don't know what that's about, but i'll keep my face warm,
thank you very much;
never quiet, never soft.....