DUMPZZZZ!!!!

dudes,
we just time-traveled backwards an hour!!!
we're living in the past.
that's cool that we're all together doing it.
really, i've been doing that for decades regardless of what the clock says...
awwww.
SIKE!
there's only today, every day, and that's all we flippin' need, nerds.
yup!
i'm ready for exxxtra-dark bummery doo-doo buttery too-soon sunset sh!t-salad.
so do your worst NO-vember, i've been through this before.
it was plenty dark, and rainy, and cold, and windy last night.
you know what i did about it?
i dumped myself silly.
yup.
vegan dumplings are the power and the glory, boys and girls.
if you know, then you know-
i tried a gluten-free dump-wrap trick, and it almost worked.
ugh.
i don't use recipes, just insights and instincts, and while i think i'm on the right track,
the measurements need to be more.....measured.
eyeballing wasn't gonna cut it, and it didn't..
so, that wasn't great, and we'll get 'em next time no doubt-
but, i was determined to dump 'em out-
as such, i reverted to the old wheaty standby, and those jauns were expert
all the way to eleven.
real talk,
i broke new ground with these elite pouches of pure joy.
check the mutha-'uckin' teleport:

DUMPZ ON YER FAAAAAAAACE!!!
tight.
can you see how richly colored they are?
that's riiiiIIIiiight.
i doo-doo that freaky-diki dumpty dopeness, duders.
i got paprika in there, and crushed chinese red chili pepper,
and two shades of sesame sossamon seed sexxxiness.
y'know why?
uh-huh. that's correct:
because too much is the right amount.
with scallion sprankles on a light lil bed of baby spinach,
and some superlative special SAUCE?!
c'mon, man.
if you ain't with that? ew. just ew. you're gross the most.
-
ok.
so here's all the recipes:
-
*
DUMPWRAPS!
-
in mixin' bowl, knead together:
1 cup a.p. flour;
1 T sesame seeds;
1 tsp crushed red pepper;
1 tsp paprika;
2/3 cup warm water-
-
that's all, roll 'em, cut 'em, pinch 'em, fry 'em, eat 'em neighbors. you got it.
***********
-
*
SAUCE!!
-
combine the following:
1 tsp sesame oil;
2 T gluten-pfree tamari soy sauce;
2 T rice sine vinegar;
1 tsp agave;
GPOP, black pepper;
dash sesame seeds;
scallions.
-
DAS ITTTT!!!!!
sauce is for dippin', so dip it like you're tryin' to win a prize, guys.
***********
-
*
DUMPFILLZ!!
-
in a very hot pan, with 1 T sesame oil,
stir fry:
1/2 cup minced onion;
3 cloves crushed garlic;
1/4 cup minced purple carrot;
1 cup shredded brussels sprouts;
1 stalk diced celery;
GPOP, tamari, rice wine vinegar;
3 T bell pepper, finely chppped;
1 T sesame seeds;
2 T shredded scallions.
1/2 block crushed crOmbled exxxtra-firm tofu.
^^^kaPOW!^^^
that's frickin' delish.
brown it up, and let it cool, and spoon it into your 3" circles of sexxxiness, son.
mmmhmmmm.
-
have y'all ever made dumps before?
you get a very big, very hot pan,
and you place 'em all in the, flat side down, with a dab of oil,
and let 'em fry and sizzle for about a minute-
then, you douse 'em with a few tablespoons of hot water, put a lid over the whole thing,
and let 'em steam until the liquid disappears into the dough.
technically, they're done at that point-
but,
you know i can't leave it at that.
that'snot nearly done enough for me.
so, i give 'em a flip, and i brown up another side,
and then, when that's ready?
i turned off the heat, and gave 'em a heavy blast of tamari
to glaze the sides with umami mommy time.
expert.
look:

YES!
did i mention that the whole entire time
i was also frying up some baby brussies in the same pan?
i was, and they were the F*ing best.
teleport:

BRUZZZZZZ!
-
so that's all the best things, all at once.
and i was inside away from the wind, which was also pretty great.
i love a good meal.
i love when there's a LOT of a good meal.
i ate it all, y'all,
and i am so glad i did, too.
MORE awesome is what i was missing all day,
and i got it, and i ate it,
and it's a part of me now.
pretty cool, huh?
i think so.
i may be an hour behind where i was yesterday,
but i'm light years ahead of where i used to be,
and the dinner scene around here is evidence of that every damned day.
i'm counting my blessings, my brussels sprouts and my dumplings,
the first is increasing, the other two are disappearing at breakneck pace;
never quiet, never soft.....