Wednesday, November 28

TORTELLINI!!!!

alright.
tortellini.
y'know?
like, little dumplin's, italiano-style, slapped around in soup or sauce,
filled with freshness, and ready to rock your F*ing socks right off.
yeah.
those.
i do love to make and eat homemade pasta.
...and that's no joke.
and whenever the mood hits, there's nothing for it but to doo-doo that freaky sh!t.
mmhmm.
rules is rules.
so, in the flavorful spirit of NO-vember, i got myself thinking,
and i got my little ingredients all together,
and i got it poppin' like i knew i would.
check the teleport:

WORD THE EFF UP, NEIGHBORS!!
cauliflower-kale torties, in semolina-fire-roasted tomato pasta pouches.
yummmmm.
but that's not all, at all, y'all-
they're stacked in sweet-potato carrot thick saucy soupiness,
and garnished with alllllll the hottness.
i'm on that wu-TANG sword-style pasta danger, bro!
believe it.
you want recipes?
i got recipes.
let's begin with the sauce-
-
*
SWEE'PO'SOUP!
-
in a small sauce pot, with a spoonful of olive oil, saute:
3 T minced onion;
2 cloves crushed garlic;
1/2 small peeled chopped carrot;
1/2 skin-on sweet potato, cubed;
pink salt, black pepper, and a healthy shake of both dried sage and thyme;
-
when the onion caramelizes just a bit,
add 2 tsp red wine vinegar;
1 T soy sauce;
1 1/2 cups water;
GPOP and nootch to taste.
(i'd go heavy on the Garlic and Onion Powders, but i like'em a LOT)-
simmer that all until the root veg is soft af,
and immersion blend it smooth.
(or food process, or high speed smoothie blender, or whatever, man)
nice, right?
now you've got soup.
add a lil more H2O if you've gotta, to keep it nice, and keep it warm.
nobody wants tortellini in cold soup, kid.
*
the pasta is a two parter, obvi.
the filling, and the wrapper.
the pasta itself is easy as heck-
knead together:
1/2 cup a.p. flour;
1/2 cup semolina flour;
1 tsp salt;
1 T fire-roasted tomato flake sprankles;
1 T olive oil;
1/2 cup warm water-
all of that, beat up, in your stand mixer-
so you can do other stuff instead of kneading,
while the dough hook makes the magic happen.
expert.
huh?
you don't have a stand mixer?
well, c'mon-
go get one, ask for one for XI-mas, borrow one, steal one, do what you must,
but use the technology that transcends all the carpal tunnels on earth, buddy.
seriously.
wrap and rest your shiny, firm dough for ten minutes,
then roll it out exxxtra flat on a floured surface, cut some 2 1/2" circles out,
gather the excess dough, and do it again, and repeat it until you've used all the dough up.
i got forty somethin' of the circles, which made forty-somethin' of the tortellini-
that's dope, because that's a LOT,
and that's dope because too much is the right amount.
ha!
-
the filling is easy, too.
i don't always have hours to eff around with superfancy unnecessariness,
so whenever i can make something dope in a hurry?
i'm gonna.
-

TORTIE-FILLZ!
-
saute, in an 8" pan, with 1 T olive oil:
1/2 small minced onion;
1 clove crushed garlic;
1 1/4 cups crumbled chpped cauliflower;
2 cups baby kale, shredded;
1 tsp soy sauce;
1/2 tsp ea GPOP;
1 tsp red wine vinegar;
1/2 tsp ea. dried sage and thyme;
pink salt, black pepper, nootch.
add a splash of water, lid the pan, and let the cauli soften and the kale wilt-
that's legit all there is to do.
now,
that's not ALL that's IN the tortellini, however-
nope.
there's also some of my new tofu-tapioca stretchy vegan mozz'.
mmmmmmmm.
a tiny scoople of that, a slghtly larger scoople of the green 'n' white stuff,
an pinch, a fold, and a press, and tortellini is in full effect.
-
y'know how to activate 'em?
a pot of salty boilin' water, friends.
yeah.
like every other pasta.
c'mon.
when they float, they're done.
toss 'em in a scoop of the soup,
and lay 'em out on top of the rest.
-
what about all those sexy garnishes?
well,
what about all those sexxxy garnishes, bishes?
i mean, you know that rules is rules, fools-
and ugly food is against the rules.
blackened sweet grape tomatoes are great.
toasted pecans are great.
arugula has been my homie all month.
and MORE fire-roasted tomato sprankles?
obviously, that's a genius idea.
-
here's the thing-
if you're not OVERdoing it, and taking it to eleven?
you're doing it wrong.
there's always room for beautiful meals.
if you are what you eat, and you want to be a beautiful person,
even if it's just on the INside,
then you've gotta do it up, a do it right, and do it harder and bigger and better.
that's what dinner is about at the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress,
and that's what i'm doing with my life;
never quiet, never soft.....

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