BUFFZ!

buffalo sauce!

yup.

those buffz get it poppin',

and a whole lotta folks have their own special buffalo-style preferences.

me?

i love all the buffz.

i do.

and that definitely includes cauliflower.

yup.

and when cauliflower is battered and fried and buff'd to the max?
dang, dudes...that's the MOST expert.

for realsies.

check the teleport:

YEAH!!
there's buffalo sauce, and that's good stuff.
but, then there's ultimate radical vegan hottness buffzy SAUCE,
and that's how you turn the flavor up to eleven, for sure.
here's how to activate the buff-up all the way:
-
*
VEGAN BUFFZY SAUCE!
-
get a bowl, and a spoon, and get ready-
-
1/4 cup vegenaise;
1/4 cup texas-style ho'sauce (louisiana is ok, too);
1 T sriracha;
1 T nootch;
1/2 tsp ea. GPOP;
1 tsp hot paprika;
black pepper to taste.
-
stir it up, and you're already ready to go.
mmmhmmmm.
it's all the exxxtras that bulk it up, and flesh it out.
it's good in all the ways you'd ever want it to be, and also, it's 0% lame.
so, that's cool, too.
-

i batter up my cauliflower, and fry it in a very hot high-walled pan,
half-full of very hot vegetable oil.
it's a bubbin' supersizzler when it gets going, so don't fill your oil up to the top-
you'll have a fire, and a ghetto-grease-bomb of what's left of your kitchen if you do.
i've seen it happen, and learned from others' mistakes.
they brown quick, and soften up inside, and get crissspy-
y'gotta drain and salt your florets to keep 'em that way,
and then toss 'em in the sauce like a boss.
yeah!
the batter?
hella tight:
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CAULIBATTER!
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in a medium mixing bowl, combine:
1/4 cup chickpea flour;
1/4 cup bob's 1:1 ap rice based baking flour;
1 1/2 tsp baking soda;
1/4 tsp salt;
1/2 tsp GPOP;
black pepper;
smoked paprika & hot paprika & regular-A* paprika- a few shakes of each;
1 T nootch;
1 tsp ground chia/flaxmeal
2 T non-GMO cornstarch;
1/4 cup warm water;
1/4 cup pickle brine.
-
y'ever batter somethin' before?
you just dunk stuff in and roll it around.
pretty simple, really.
i had half a head of cauli', chopped into 1 1/2" chunks.
it was more than enough to coat 'em all, y'all.
that's tight.
*
celery is essential to buffalo stuffalo, bro.
that's no joke.
it's good for you, too, maybe?
i think so.
hot jalapeno ringlets?
i doo-doo that, too.
and then even a lil' MORE sauuuuuce???
uh-huh.
too much is the right amount, always.
y'can't be the best if you aren't doing the most.
that's a thing.
***********
if you look close, past the carrots, kale, and cabbages, salted up and slaw'd,
you might see that there's also buffalo seitan.
i like seitan.
i missed it.
and now, i've had a whole bunch of it,
and i'm happy to report i've restored my inner seitan meter back to FULL.
expert.
pan-fried, breaded, and ready to go....then activated a little more with some pickles,
nashville-style, sans the exxxtra-hot cayenne oil.
y'know that i like to cook, and to eat;
so really, a second main course was kind of a great idea.
i have those sometimes.
*
time is crushing my face off.
NOtimetodonuthin'-vember has slipped away
like a greased eel through freshly lotioned hands, man.
i'm sputtering and puttering and spluttering through every day,
wondering where the heck it's gone to by the time it's dark,
which just so happens to happen at immediately-after-you-wake-up o'clock.
it's a hard style, but i guess that's what you get when you wanna get things done,
and do so many things that everything feels like it takes forever,
because all progress is incremental at the best of times.
we'll see what shakes out after all the thanksgiving roadtrippin', i suppose;
never quiet, never soft.....