Wednesday, December 4

SANDWICH?

a crȇpe is not a sandwich.
it's just a really thin pancake.
but,
if you use one as a wrap, is it then at least a sandwich component?
i'm just sayin'-
a wrap is considered a sandwich, although i'm not 100% on board with that.
but what about an open-ended pita-crȇpe?
it sure tastes like a sandwich, i'll tell you that.
i made a big batch of gluten-free crȇpes, the better to hold all the good stuff
i had prepared for a megamorning glorious snow day feast,
all in the name of sandwich week.
i hope the purists will forgive the liberties i took.
look:

i'm sayin'-
almost every single thing in these is made without wheat.
except those sausages.
i already had 'em.
they're my from-scratch breakfast blend,
browned, sliced, fried a little more,
then bathed in real maple syrup to boost the flavor fully off the charts .
reread that.
i glugged maple syrup onto the hot pan and rolled the hot discs in it to coat 'em.
expert.
-
then there's that exxxtra-firm tofu, in mini cubes for structure,
fried with a little onion, and GPOP, and nootch,
and pink salt and black pepper and smoked paprika, until it started to get golden brownish.
-
and the oven was already at 400℉ because i was baking buns,
so i tossed some skin-on potatoes with salt, pepper, GPOP, olive oil,
and a little curry powder, plus a touch more turmeric,
and baked them until they were soft-centered and crispy-edged.
-
also sauteed some quartered baby bella mushrooms, too.
that's right. i did.
extra meaty bouncy bits of breakfast burliness are good for you,
especially when it's hella cold out and snowing all over the place.
-
fried tomatoes are kind of mandatory,
and what's the point without mixed lettuce
right?
right.
now toss in some radish and red onion sprankles,
and that's a wrap.
-
and speaking of wraps-
without the crȇpes, you ain't got it like that.
so make some, man.
heat a 12" non-stick pan to a very hot hottness.
if you don't have nonstick, you probably aren't making good crȇpes.
just sayin'.
anyway, in a big mug or small mixing bowl, combine:
i 1/2 cup bob's gf all-purpose blend flour;
a dash of salt;
a spoonful of olive oil;
a spoonful of tapioca flour;
a pinch of nootch;
and 1/2 cup non-dairy milk, + 1/4 cup water, + more as needed,
all stirred up, with 1 tsp ground flaxmeal.
that's the batter.
you gotta drizzle a spoonful and lift the pan and swirl it,
or else you get a fat small dumb pancake,
and that's NOT what's good.
but these are very good,
and very glutenless, and it doesn't even matter because i can eat gluten.
i'm just being sentimental because i have a lot of feelings.
and i ate a metric ton of them today.
what you get is some new epic edible fantasy magic that defies conventional ingestion.

see?!??!
savory, sweet, crunchy, chewy, soft, supple, succulent, and dare i say it: sexxxy.
that's right.
i was letting my feelings get the better of me,
and when i'm feeling my feels,
sometimes (or almost all the times) a stray redhead-centric sentiment
slips into the kitchen and conjures up some hot fire like you see here.
ANYthing can happen on a snow day, bro.
-
don't think i didn't go out and get some metallic foil wrapping paper, either.
rules is rules,
and i may need a little push to get XI-mas started....but i'm still gonna wrap it right.
like these crȇpes.
you need the right wrap, or you're an A*-hole.
that's just what it is;
never quiet, never soft.....

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