happenings.

candy beans, b!tches.
seriously, gimbal's candy beans are what's up.
except for buttered popcorn,
because that sh!t is so 'ucking nastypants.
ewwww.
otherwise,
they're pretty tasty.
good for your soul,
if not so much for your bellyhole.
i had a handy fistful last night,
celebrating the arrival of my A-hole
back in the super fresh air of the woodsly goodness.
i've said it before,
but nowhere is as awesome as here.


the cucch is back to rocking out a turbo-scary justache.
as in:
no beard,
just 'stache.
it's like a gene-splicing experiment gone haywire,
involving freddie mercury and a troupe of gypsy carnival performers.
when i see that 'stache, though,
i hear 'we are the champions' playing in my head,
unlike the ironic hipster moustache crimes i saw in philly.
those dudes get an F-. 
and the only music i hear playing is Bel Biv Devoe.
the weakest of weak sauce.


hank's gourmet, ya'll.
it's like spicy vanilla cream soda with birch sauce mixed in.
the bottle is so fancy,
it almost makes it taste even better.
if you like root beer,
and i know you do,
you should try and get a sip or two of this sodapop.
it's good.


straight from the source!
boo-ya, even!
meat without feet.
fish are definitely NOT made out of carrots, after all.
all fake-a-tarian vegetarians had better recognize.
somehow, though,
i think this truck is psyched that fish are so dead and edible!
i haven't called the number yet,
but i think we all should.
just to let 'em know that they totally rock it so hard.

we're here.
gettin' busy with our big business 
as events unfold like they're supposed to.
you know the flavor:
balls-deep active participants
not panty-waisted time-wasting passive spectators.
we doo-doo ALL that freaky sh!t.
today is the day,
again.
never quiet, never soft.....