tornado warning...

someone is obviously kidding me.
it is probably the same person who thinks that connecticut is awesome.
so they are clearly an A-hole.....
i've been gorging myself since i got here.
no foolin',
i've been non-stop stuffing my facehole for two days straight.
it's like a two day pre-hibernation season,
where i pack my foodbox with all my favorite foods,
and visit all kinds of family,
and pack my whole day full to the tippity-top with activity,
so that i can feed off the stores until i return again.
believe me,
a little teentsy weentsy tiny bit goes one helluva long way.

sorry connecticut,
you may be full of people i care about,
but that won't save you.
too many other 'nother other folks,
too much traffic,
too much suburban/urban sprawl,
too much everything,
and nowhere near enough woodsly goodness.
i choose live free over die every time.
a better fate than death awaits us anywhere.
(except connecticut)



tomorrow, my ninjas,
we blow through philadelphia,
at about eleven thousand miles per hour,
at about eleven million decibels,
for about eleven seconds.
don't blink or you'll miss it,
but we're here and there and back again in under a day.
it beats it hard,
but we've got so little time this week,
and most of it has been spent in a turdtastic world tour of the highways and byways of new england.
weeeeeeak sauce!!
and with nowhere to live,
no new options on the horizon,
and next to no dollars to doo-doo any type of worthwile freaky dikiness,
we've got just that one little lumen of light to look forward to:
SPINAL MUTHA-UCKIN" TAP!!!!
sixth row center, b!tchbag babyheads!
i'm pretty much missing out on all other experiences,
good,
bad,
ugly,
and the full gambit in between.

road trip tornado,
not enough time,
too much too see.
never quiet, never soft....