battle-beasts

porcupine pinecone pugilism?
sure, i'd love some...
three feet of pointy-ass quills,
and tree-climbing prowess prowling the grounds.
nature wins, kids.
the dogs aren't so cool with the wilder life they're witnesing, though.
the animals at the old place mostly stuck to the woodsly pathways,
but these bold and worthy warriors walk out proud and loud.
they were here first, i guess.
we've even got evening whippoorwils noodle-neck singsong serenading us.
it actually sounds like dog whining a little,
only through one of those fruity fruit-flute salute thingies......
animals just kinda want to hang out here
(except fish, i guess- sorry, gil)

i tried to be a great ex-tenant,
and take down the decaying big heads
from their precarious perches up in the branches of the oaks at the old property.
but it wasn't meant to be.
instead i leapt to safety from an unforseen,
yet understandably provoked, encounter with a savage, unpredictable wild animal family;
anybody ever heard me shriek like a wet poopiepants diaper baby?
wellll,
you would've yesterday, ya'll.
inside each and every one of those fugly spirit guardians there is a nest.
no, not a cute little baby bird house with chicks and worms and sh!t, either.
when is it ever that simple?
instead, there's nest after nest of little mcsquizzy red squirrels.
want to venture a guess at how skittish and fearful those little F*ers are?
if you guesses 0%,
then you wold be 100% correct!
imagine my surprise when a ball of furry fury bashed me upside the face,
ricocheting from beard to bark and back and forth again,
while i balanced on a plastic lawn chair,
trying to not get beat up and fall down at the same time!!!!
how many of you ninjas get into fights with acorn-smuggling rodents?
yeah,
i'm just lucky, i suppose.

vacation, mutha-lickers.
i'm a natural animal amateur naturalist;
never quiet, never soft...