rats!

...are about the only little rodent A-holes that aren't stopping by.
should i change the name of the house to NIMH?
it's that time of year when all the little furry F*tards
relocate to their overwinter hideaways.
and in the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress,
there's nooks, crannies, alcoves, crawlspaces, and caverns enough
for every suborder, family, genus, and species.
dudes, believe me,
we've got the whole shootin' match over here;
mice, grey ones and brown ones and two-tone ones;
moles;
voles;
squirrels, ghetto grey and rural red;
a whole horde of chipmunks;
untamed shrews;
and even a flippin' woodchuck.
rodentia, my ninjas.
i'm sayin',
rodentia are flanking the fortress.
we're under seige and outnumbered...
of course,
the wife IS feeding the whole woodsly goodness with seeds and nuts and corn and sh!t.
every morning there's a snow white menagerie patiently perched outside.
(not once have they helped make the bed, but then, neither have i)
we watched some kind of small grey weirdie pop out of some freshly-dug tunnels.
secret tunnels, even.
and then munch up some millet.
and then pop back down.
and then pop back up in another other 'nother spot.
i thought about trying to win a game of whack-a-mole,
but the stuffed prize at then end would really just be a bashed-in burrower.
that's just a little too hard a style for this battle-bard, y'heard?
i know some people who would declare all-out war on these realtively harmless
personal-space invaders.
i'm not exactly thrilled about potential poop nugs popping up in unexpected places, either.
the solution?
i don't exactly know.
it's NOT glue traps and brick-top stomping.
it's probably not have-a-heart homoszechuan relocation action, either.
olive the dog EATS the slowest of the scurrying scamperers.
chomp, chomp, burp, an' that.
it's pretty much the one useful thing she does.
i figure that's some basic instinct wild pack beastly big business.
it may even be bad for her.
that's cool, too.
i'm on a jack london/ernest hemingway natural world animosity thing.
if you know what i'm talking about,
you spent too much time paying attention in school.
you should maybe let loose a little bit.
seriously.

i'm out the door in a few minutes,
headed down to 'assachussetts,
to rendezvous with my lovely little ladybirds.
vegan thanksgiving with the seedlings, duders.
the sixth year in a row that we've done this all together as a big hungry family.
tradition, yeah?
yesterday was holly the firestarter's big berfday,
but today's the day she arrives at the worthy warrior celebration station.
will there be cake?
i hope so.
will there be hot fire?
what are you?
some kind of an A-hole?
of course there'll be hot fire.
a posse of ladies,
a yardful of capybaras and sh!t,
and a defrosting orb of faux turkey.
it's all really happening.
real life documentation, ya'll;
never quiet, never soft.....