good news, bad news.

so guess who doesn't have to go to massachussetts today?
yep.
good guess.
it IS me.
that's totally flippin' awesome.
(it sucks some pretty hard full ones over there)
but,
that also means i won't be getting my great little girls.
which means no valentine's day daddy-time.
ouch.
that sucks even worse than massachussetts does.
no joke.
i might not even get to collect them up until mid-week,
if even then.
why?
because divorce is awesome, sometimes.
and the rest of the time, it is not that dope.
at all.
that's word.
i mean,
if you both always agreed on a lot of stuff,
you'd probably not be divorced, right?
riiiiight.
bittersweets, ninjas.
when life hands you kool-aid,
it might be jim jones, and not B.H.M.,
that's servin' up the wall-crashing, soul-smashing 'Oh, yeahs!'
i'm sayin'.
not taking a sh!t-salad road trip to somewhere lame;
that's pretty good.
sad dad absenteeism, however;
that's not so great, is it?
even when i'm winning,
i still lose.
and even when i'm losing,
i never really could've won.
wait.
that's actually kind of depressing.
...bummer.
of course,
winning isn't everything.
just ask all the losers out there.
there's plenty of other stuff to occupy your days;
like beers, video games, internet porn, sports, and t.v.
nice.
it's sort of a glass half-empty,
vs. a glass three-quarters-empty thing.
oh man,
my ferocious furnaces are fired-up with foul-tempered fury.
heated by hard-hearted hate, even.
there's a limit, ya'll.
a limit to objectivity.
a limit to dispassionate documentation.
and then,
it's on like donkey kong.
and i am an apeman barrel-bowler like you read about.
it looks like i'll be back at work today anyway.
i feel bad for all the A*-tards looking for some punishment,
because the berserker barbarian battle-beast is ready.
i'm taking something out on everyone else.
that's savage stormswept gypsy brutality.
the deck is stacked in favor of fervor:
caffeinated coffee?
oh, yes.
chocolates?
yum.yum.yum.
high-powered hyperbole and ragnarok rhetoric?
delightful.
sugar highs and lowbrow browbeating bleatings.
today, my ninjas.
today is the day.
today the volume,
the intensity,
the lumens,
the b.t.u's,
the velocity,
the ferocity,
and the viscosity,
all go to eleven.
i gots no time for exes.
after all X is never ever enough.
only XI has what i need-
misery loves company,
so i guess i'm making new 'friends' today.
works like a charm.
every single time;
never quiet, never soft.....