that's a little over-general,
but also pretty true.
it's a fair question, though.
more accurately,
how can she be so good, and funny, and fun,
and smokin' hot,
and be so nice to somebody like me?
(i wouldn't, ya'll)
it's a mystery.
a mind-boggling puzzle-stumper the solution to which
i've been trying to figure out for years.
she's a regular voracious valkyrie of virtue.
that's no joke.
now,
she's gone and upped the ante,
again.
what do you get the husband who's naught
but a total pain-in-the-A*?
well,
check out this little bit of butt-soothing beauty:
dopeness.
it's fancy, huh?
yeah.
luxurious, even.
and it's super-comfortable, to boot.
i came home and found it waiting for me,
with a bow and everything.
lucky duckling.
that's what i am.
***********
guess what else?
i got some trophies for being a decent tatblaster last week.
i know,
i forgot to document that tidbit of victory.
but i'm remedying that now.
yep,
my buddies billy and joe were in pa.
...at a motorcycle show,
and they both scoopled up some big wins.
bikers like me.
that's cool.
it's probably the hard-style of my lifestyle they love.
probably.
of course,
the promoters spelled tattoo incorrectly.
right on the trophies.
1st place tatoo.
is that good?
close enough??
i dunno.
is that gift-horseplay in the mouth area?
i don't know that either.
what i do know is:
i also got some tasty black stink-stick stumps,
and a case of cape cod potato chips.
from the self-same fellas,
but as a sign of appreciation unrelated to the awards.
c'mon,
all that and a bag of chips?
how about 96 bags of chips?
real real.
that's some barbarian honor system generosity sh!t.
again,
a lucky duckling.
that's me.
***********
i'm doing a viking tattoo today.
the start of a midgard/asgard backpiece.
thor will be there.
prominently, in fact.
with his unholy pagan hellhammer, too.
and lightning.
don't forget about the lightning.
fortunately,
i got a semi-coma's worth of rest last night.
so i'm bright-eyed,
and bushy bearded.
...it could be a tail.
since i'm kind of an A*-face.
(maybe if i was doing a handstand.)
i know it's NOT my elbow, at least.
my front and back may match each other,
in frowning, follicled, frightening force,
but neither looks like my knobby arm hinge.
i could pass for a double-headed mandrill.
sad, but true.
but while my elbows are blue, too,
they don't have holes.
unlike the other two options, y'heard?
i can at least tell one from the others.
an ugly duckling.
a lucky one, but a butt-nasty looker,
all at the same time.
that's your ninja;
never quiet, never soft.....
No comments:
Post a Comment