ill-conceived and poorly executed.

VACATION!!!
the last dregs of summer are filtering in.
those few, proud epic A*-blasters who take their paid leave after everybody else.
post-season rates, y'all.
savin' bucks and not givin' 'ucks.
craaa-aaazy.
*
dear drunk guy with the sunburn-
you're right,
that's probably 150 proof chewing gum i smell on your breath,
and you're boiled lobster red because you're 1/800th cherokee.
my mistake.
of course i'll tattoo you.
and,
when you come back in to complain
about your melted-off scabby tattoo under the blistered skin lesions?
yeah, i know.
no one told you it was a bad idea to get tattooed,
and then rub your arm on a dead bird carcass down by the lake,
what with that flaking third-degree scalding cherry red leather hide you call your skin.
it probably wasn't even mentioned. at all.
i'm sure your hearing and judgement aren't impaired
by the seven simultaneous shots of strychnine
that you sucked down seconds before driving here.
(maybe one should've been a shot of penicillin, hmm?)
after all,
you're not drunk.
or belligerent.
or smelly.
or stupid.
right?
yeah.
so thank you,
inebriated plumber/vacationer/tattoo aftercare expert,
for letting me know what a failure i truly am,
for not having the good sense to listen to your inestimable insights,
and for brushing my teeth, washing my armpits, being literate, and using sunscreen.
if not for you,
i might have gone the rest of my life in ignorance.
nice.
***********
it's a sh!t-salad sunday of overcast weak sauce.
what makes a day go by slower,
whilst simultaneously always looking much later than it is?
gray skies.
what a psych out.
it looks like tonight all morning and all afternoon.
time doesn't span like it should without that glowing circle in the sky.
there is no such thing as a cloud-dial now, is there?
i'm just sayin'.
no rocks,
no soccer,
no fires.
we're gonna have to hope for stormswept thunder
and lightning-striking  berserker fury before the day is done.
*
anyways,
what do you duders know about THIS?
yeah.
fungi perfecti, b!tchbags...
crazy mushroom people.
crazy mushroom growers.
crazy mushroom internet customers.
i'm so into it.
we're cutting a couple of spruces down,
and we'll be inoculating both of 'em
with plug after plug of laetiporus conifericola.
that's evergreen-friendly chicken-of-the-woods.
i may even harsh up some old oak logs,
and grow a whole slew of shiitakes,
and maitakes,
and phoenix fir oysters like a regular crazy mushroom gourmet.
you like it.
we like it.
you will eat it.
with us.
it may be the end of summer,
but it is the beginning of worthy really real life.
every day.
especially today.
gray skies and all;
never quiet, never soft.....