satire-day

i am makin' fun of every mutha-F*er who shows up today.
you know it.
i've been a busy beaver,
blasting away at all the tatty-o's that i can cram into each minute,
with almost no time to even inhale a deep breath, my ninjas.
all week i've been in extra early and out extra late,
and even crushed it on my days off.
someone has got to pay for that.
you heard me, son.
now, even when we're super-slammed with eager,
unprepared, uninformed walk-in clientelle,
the tattoo prices stay reasonable,
because i can't get all shystie like that...
so instead i'm exacting tolls in hurt feelings and hard styles.
yeah!
snark week, b!tchbags.
it's time to let mutha-uckas know what's happenin'.
if sh!tty sideways commentary was dollars, duders,
i'm sayin',
i'd retire tonight.
it's like just can't help myself;
i see these goofy flat-brim beefsticks and their dumpy girlie-girls,
and i can't stop.
yes, i'll still tattoo my best effort the whole time.
yes, i'm reppin' G.S.M., and will take ALL your loot.
yes, i will also take away your sense of self-esteem and well-being.
it's a dirty job- you know the rest.
their b!tch-sap just oozes out, neighbors.
and it's not as if there's a shortage of subject matter-
this town is packed to the pits with family vacationers.
nine o'clock last night, on my way home from work,
three hours later than usual,
and the crosswalks were mobbed with whole fat families
out hunting for french fries and souvenirs.
c'mon.
that's a general populace looking to get a dose of doo-doo butter
on general principle.
***********
i'm up early-shirley.
twenty winks, like i'm on a reduced rest diet.
that's how i make time for myself.
dawn's early light, an' that.
one way or another i take time.
i don't just take my time either.
i rush and rush and attack, an' that.
hurried along, but harried and held as well.
i take time, duders.
i'll take it hostage if i have to.
sensitive sapsuckin' waterbabies have been warned.
it's satire-day.
all day.
live and direct,
with hot fire spit from lava-lacquered lips,
loud fresh hardness...
...for you face;
never quiet, never soft.....