stay black, stay fly, stay home.

memorial day weekend.
yeah.
rainy, muggy, buggy, and disgusting.
should be a real showstopper.
we've got black flies so big,
they leave jet-plane contrails in the sky.
we've got mosquitos that leave you needing transfusions.
we've got chiggers, ticks, no-see-ums, midges, gnats,
and a whole host of newly-hatched hungry hungry buzzers.
i know that tourists love that sort of thing,
so i'm SO sure it'll be a veritable mob scene
up here in the mountains.
just sayin'.
y'all can be just as wet and unhappy at home,
without driving up here to mill around in the moisture
getting eaten alive by carnivorous insects.
skies are so thick with biting specks of six-legged awful
it looks like clouds of black pepper are getting sprinkled
down from the upper atmosphere.
...except that pepper is delicious, unlike black flies.
what?
you ever get a black fly in your mouth?
crunchy, duders.
and disgusting.
you're prob'ly eating somebody's blood, too.
double disgusting.
(vampires are not dope. fact.)
i'd wait for drier weather, and fewer plague-bringers,
before i clotted up the motorways of the beauteous north woods.
the thing is,
people aren't that smart.
and thus,
i'm expecting a heapin' helpin' of not-hottness
to cool down the temperature in this vacationary vale.
that's just great.
a festy feeding frenzy fixated furiously on
hemoglobin hobgoblins from massholechussetts,
then transferred directly into my skin?
that means i'm maybe becoming blood brothers
with some belligerent bastardholes from billerica.
that's way not cool.
pill-poppin' hep-opotamus c-monster sauce?
unacceptable.
i mean, maybe not, but more than likely.
*
swarms of bloodthirsty gangster-type jauns
don't necessarily make me uncomfortable, though-
maybe i can express myself more accurately
in terms of where i'm from,
instead of just where i'm at.
for really real,
i'm reppin' what's really 'hood, my ninjas!
huh?
check it:
new haven ranks as the 4th most violent city in america.
c'mon.
gun-wavin' money-cravin' nueva haven, neighbors.
ranked, son!
that's that neck-of-the-woods, hard-style,
brutal barbarian berserker, real-talk homefront sh!t.
pure-being 'hoodness,
for your warrior poets in the woodsly goodness, an' that.
maybe that's what memorial day weekend needs-
some Folk Life thug life ultraviolencia.
claro que no?
there's no predicting what could happen.
one thing is certain, however-
it ALL really is;
never quiet, never soft.....