preparations.

duders,
apples gotta get soggy if you're gonna make apple crisp!
that's real.
check the early a.m. expert bakery teleport:

uh-huh.
i get molto busy with the pots and pans in the morning, y'all.
a simmering cinnamon concoction,
bubbling away to start the day?
heck yes, friends.
w'sup den?
oh, really?
you want more motivational teleportal-enacted examples?
okay:

you gotta get 'em all mushy and squishy,
with that thick pectin protection,
if you're gonna make that hot blarpity blop action happen.
for realsies,
pithy apples are for punk-A* b!tches.
that's why we make our from-scratch sauce all customized
by the Folk Life coterie of recipe-writers and exciters
live and direct in the up-here woodsly goodness-
with so many kinds of secret sweeteners,
and a couple of extra magic-style spices for your face.
magic mace, for one!
not like police brutality,
but much more like tastebud hedonism, yo.
i get it extra-slobbery,
and turbo-gooey,
and then i put a splash of vanilla in that mutha-'ucka
just for good measure,
and to take it up that extra notch.
y'know,
to eleven...
just sayin',
if i'm gonna eat it, ninjas,
i wanna taste the SH!T outta that sunovab!tch.
y'heard?
yeah!!
...ummmm,
that's real talk, neighbors.
what?
come again?
did somebody really just ask if i made some double-dutch
oats-and-brown sugary, buttery, black strap b!tchslap molasses
streusel-type jauns for the cookie crumble topcoat
of turtleshelled protection that graces the surface
of this pomme-pomme d'terrorist treat?
c'mon:

you know i'm repping werewolf over-the-top business all day, right?
right.
so don't worry your pretty little stoopidheads
about what i'm doo-dooing, duders.
you know what's up?
i'm activating.
and that's all you need to know;
never quiet, never soft.....