it's gotta be dirty.

duders,
just look at the corners of the floor.
spidery webs and dust clumps are mandatory.
is there greasy fry-oil filminess
on all the surfaces exposed to open air?
i hope so.
are there jars and cans of ingredients you've never heard of?
yeah.
now you're talking.
neighbors-
if you want a really great one,
it can't be from a clean place.
there's a magic ratio of filth to flavor,
and it cannot be denied.
check the festy dirthole-type teleport:

mmmmmmmm.
FALAFEL.
i don't know what lebanese bitter pickles are,
or what the weird red sauce is, either,
but i DO know that these guys put sumac on their jauns.
uh-huh.
it was six inches in diameter,
and they it got double squished-up and panini-pressed on a griddle,
after already toasting the wrap before the hummus and tahini base coat.
whoah.
pickled pink sh!t, and two kinds of weird sauce?
yuuuup.
light and dark beige smeared on it,
and jalapenos, too!
the place has no name,
a lotto machine,
and a married couple who give absolutely no F*s.
so expert.
they even had to make the falafel balls from scratch,
with sh!t off of their own dusty gross shelves,
right in front of my face!
yeah!!!
for realsies.
the dude was mashing fava beans and spices an' that right there.
you can't get fresher freshness,
or not-quite-hot-enough-oil, either.
that just makes 'em extra greasy,
which is of course to also say,
extra delicious.
friends,
i can't tell you strongly enough-
this place is doo-doo buttery and so 'sgusting,
and that's exactly how i knew for sure
that that sandwich was gonna go to eleven.
rules is rules.
...and because i was waiting,
the guy was totally giving me white-hot molten falafel balls
to snack up on while i watched him press and pound and prod
my double-wrapped waxy-papered and foiled toasted tube
of elite hottness and wet pickley smears of color.
yup.
dirty is good.
remember that;
never quiet, never soft.....