learning?

neighbors,
y'know what?
i don't know how to paint for real.
i mean it.
oh, i understand the process, for sure,
and i get color, and composition, and all of that sort of stuff-
but that's not the same thing.
painting like a grown up isn't the way i do it.
i'm over here with markers and sh!t,
drawing half-cartoon bubbly smoothies....
yes,
that is technically still painting, as long as i've got brushes an' that
to slather some of my discount acrylics on these shredded cardboard slats...
but i'm talking about real painting.
like,
the douchey kind,
with artistic mission statements and that sort of thing,
and rough treatment of expensive canvas with linseed oil or whatever the F*.
ha.
i don't doo-doo that sloppy semi-political sh!t at all, y'all.
however,
i'm attempting to do what i do do,
with a few less bold lines and a little more leeway to get messy.
i dunno if it's working out,
but i'm still working on it anyway.
check the teleport:

uh-huh.
there's something going on here.
this is what it looked like before i got into it yesterday:

see?
i can't ever tell if i'm effing it up or not,
so i just keep going and going.
i have a few other other pieces in progress now, too,
so i can stop ruining one, and start messing with another
whenever i think i'm getting off track...
i sort of expect a more naturally occurring aptitude for these things,
so it's more than a little frustrating to be creating some makin',
and not be more psyched on the adventure.
it could be that i'm only drippin' and stripin' during my downtime minutes
at the tattoo spot,
and i'll bet it doesn't help that i can hear the driveling banter
of a basic batch of b!tches in the next room,
no matter how loud i make the music next to my ear.
dang.
it's not the best environment, but it IS the most effective use of my time.
no sense just hanging out around adversaries, waiting for movie checks to
sprout up out of thin air.
i mean, really, if i'm there, i should be productive.
-
i'll figure it out, or i'll start over.
that's the way it goes.
there's an awful lot of awful in between the good,
and i think that helps make the good so much easier to recognize.
then again,
if i can't tell, it probably isn't.
hard styles are the way of the future,
if the present is any indication;
never quiet, never soft.....