i do.
he's a damned good guy.
and he is also a professional listener by trade.
i go and talk to him about real life once a week.
yeah.
i think it helps a whole bunch to have an un-involved, unbiased, detached duder
who can see issues from a far better and more open-minded vantage point
than the view that my tunnel-vision, frayed from the fray, fried from the fracas,
and besmirched in unadmiring mired underground sludge, will oftentimes allow.
it's hard to look up and see light when you're feeling buried.
y'know?
uh-huh.
for the record-
it's hard to have a decent dialogue open up when your conversations always devolve
into adversarial accounts of conflicting opinions.
and when your conversations seem to consistently become adversarial,
it helps to look at why.
and when you look at why you feel beset and besieged, ambushed and assaulted,
and you have the recognition of insistent complicity by consent-
it's hard to feel good when talking to someone who wants you to agree with them,
so that they'll feel better about doing the wrong thing.
if you don't say it's wrong, then maybe it isn't?
ew.
i don't think that's how it goes,
and that's where the trouble starts, every time.
luckily, my weekly appointment with the guy isn't like that.
yep.
it's good to talk to someone who doesn't agree or disagree.
he just absorbs all the details...
it's super great to speak with a duder who won't get upset or offended
or indignant or combative when i resolutely refuse to say a thing that is NOT a thing.
y'know what it is called when you say something that isn't?
a.k.a. a handjob in the back of dirk's mom's jaguar.
a.k.a. a F*ing lie.
nope.
truth tellers can never stop.
i learned that a long time ago.
so,
it's when i get asked to agree with the disagreeable
and the pervasive compulsion to say What Is puts me in a worse position
that i reallllly appreciate that it won't ever stop happening.
the part where i'd feel worse saying i agree with big, bad, dumb, detrimental ideas
than i will ever feel about the consequences and collateral hard-styles and hard-eyed stares,
and ever-hardening harder feelings i accrue by telling the truth is what i talk about with
that guy i know.
i think he understands, intuitively, and fundamentally,
that without him as a sounding board i'd really be flying without instruments into
an abyssal triangle of battle-beastly bard business.
no?
c'mon.
you get it.
folks keep telling me they' admire that i'm the guy who 'tells it like it is',
but that just makes me so sad that they're more used to telling it like it isn't.
what in the actual F* is the point of that?
i honestly just don't know,
...and that's what i talk to my professional listener about.
besides,
most people i've met only really like it when you're telling it like it is
about someone ELSE.
now that's a thing
....have you ever had someone do something superlatively dressed up as aiding the greater good?
or make unilateral decisions after calling a commitee?
something that will categorically help them, and hurt you,
and then try to convince you that you LIKE coming out worse for wear?
or maybe that they're doing you a favor by effing up your scene?
ha!
i wouldn't actually mind the part where the hard-pounding of my overall well-being happens.
i mean,
it sure sucks a whole bunch,
but that's the way the world works sometimes.
what frosts my butthole is when the CLEARLY sh!tty deal is presented as a pretty picture.
neighbors,
i'm not that dumb, and i've never been accused of naivety.
i know what sh! smells like,
so don't try to put a garland on it and call it a reward.
so,
how does a worthy warrior poet conduct and compose himself and his saga
when he's adrift in a sea of insistent obfusticators
and artfully arranged delicately calibrated dishonesty?
that's where the impartial assessor activates his experience,
and takes all the information,
and then interjects some wisdom into what i'm wallowing in.
i can't imagine it's an easy job-
drawing up new battle-plans and tactics for a world-weary, war-torn,
willful but worried pessimistic paladin.
i wouldn't want that job, that's for sure.
so,
i'm grateful for a qualified friend to help me become the best possible involved,
evolved, invested version of myself.
i mean,
if that is't what we should all be striving for,
what the heck are we even doing here?
*
ugh.
that's no fun.
not one little teeny tiny bit.
and because i'm regularly blasting this helpful helper with a lambasted loudmouth
rattletrap prattling paean to the poor performance of my part in the pageant,
i often try to hook a dude up with a little somethin' special for his face.
yeah.
gratitude and generosity are reciprocated between really real people.
that's no joke.
i get a glimpse of my world through calmer eyes in a cooler head,
and as a special thank-you,
i fire up some flippin' treats for the guy to enjoy while i turn on my wordy weekly purge
of all the vitriol and vehemence and abhorrence
and decidedly dour doings of the previous seven days.
yikes.
nobody like that,
but everybody likes cookies.
well,
unless they're an A*-hole, obvi.
so,
after all these words,
whether you've managed to either legitimately read 'em,
or just scroll down to here....
there are cookies to be enjoyed.
check the therapy-on-therapy-on-therapy-type teleport:
yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup.
baking is meditation for me.
like medicine that i make myself.
home-remedy jauns with sweet nutrients and sh!t like that.
it helps to back that up with real-world real-time face-to-face problem-solving
and troublemaker-shooting,
and all the rest of that, too.
the thing of it is,
these cookies wren't working out at first.
maybe there's an allegory in there somewhere?
i added coconut oil to coconut sugar,
and then i fired in some flaky coconut shreds,
and some coconut flour,
and they were toooooo dry,
so i blended in some crema de coco syrup,
which helped, but not quite enough to make the dough all the way wet.
so i went with a splash of full-fat sexy coconut milk, too.
that did the trick.
once the mix-up was lookin' correct,
i knew i needed a little something exxxtra to really make sure that all that coconut was
doing all the good things i wanted it to.
what goes great with everything coconut?
yeah!
MORE coconut.
toasted coconut sprankles,
and every hand-tossed cookie circle pressed right into 'em.
crawnchy outsides, fluffy, chewy, expert insides.
wordimus prime.
that's how we make sure that we're doing enough.
because what is enough?
too much.
that's it.
you know it, you like it, and i doo-doo that freaky sh!t,
that's the way i work.
every time, all the time.
it's all really happening.
the facts are the facts,
the truth sounds like the truth,
and anything else is a big dumb pile of crap,
even when it's wearing a wreath to make it seem nicer;
never quiet, never soft.....
No comments:
Post a Comment