yeah.
that's what i missed the most.
i can't even rightly say, (although i could check if i were inclined to)
how long it's been since a burly batch of comin'-correct chunky custom
universally expert legendary signature treats,
infused with intentionally unconventional super-hottness,
came fresh from outta my oven after a 13 minute activation period,
to invade and delight the duders whose timelines overlap in the same spots as mine.
what?
whaaaaaaaat?
oh.
yes, neighbors.
i needed it,
after too many words, and not nearly enough pictures,
as i died a thousand diarist's deaths over the overlong long weekend
that i was SO over the instant it started;
it's time to reintroduce myself.
-
hello.
my name is albie rock.
i don't believe in having fun,
i take sides,
i make enemies,
i burn bridges,
and i make the best cookies you've ever F*ing tasted.
-
that's real.
i'm so proud of them,
i gave 'em my name.
allow me to refamiliarize all y'all with my firstborn treat.
the one that started it all.
the catalyst for all the goodies i've created in the woodsly goodness over the years.
without 'em,
i'd just be a weasley, lazy, store-bought box-mix jerk.
and that's just not cool.
some of you know what's up.
some of you have had a nibble on these knobbly nubs already.
if you know 'em,
you love 'em,
and if you know 'em, and don't love 'em?
a. i don't believe you.
b. you're clearly mistaken.
c. you aren't invited.
real talk.
then again,
maybe you have a food allergy, which implies you're defective.
otherwise, you're simply a gigantic mincey A*-hole,
and i can't hang out with you anymore.
in this instance,
there's more dark brown sugar in this batch.
y'know,
for a more seasonally-effective septembery delivery of the payload,
uh-huh.
huh?
oh, sure, i was getting to that.
be patient, a little, maybe.
check the mutha-funkin'-chunkin'-type teleport:
if you can't hang out with rock bloxxx,
i don't love you.
...it's as simple as that.
oatmeal and coconut flour and regular all-purpose wheat flour,
vanilla, applesauce, so much vegan butters, and itsy-bitsy chocolaty chiplets,
all at the same time.
oh,
and then i freaked it off,
and dipped 'em in dark chocolate,
and fired up some autumnal sprankles.
i'm not overly psyched about the sugary pumpkin shapes,
but the rest are expert as F*.
of course,
i couldn't stop there.
i powered up all the brownifiers,
and thickened the dough with chocolate,
because chocolate is good for you.
the result was some of these:
yuuuuuup.
with drizz'?
obvi.
because one kind of treats isn't enough,
never ever.
but,
too much is the right amount.
y'gotta get fresh, or else you'll go stale,
and who in the heck thinks that stale is a good idea?
nobody good, that's for sure.
-
treats, guys.
without them, it's all just descriptive discontent;
never quiet, never soft.....
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