TIMETRAVEL.

well,
that was fun, huh?
losing an hour to the greater, brighter, bigger morning glory of the future.
mmhmm.
we're here, now, getting ahead of ourselves,
and getting it together again,
as the sleep-in snoozing of a lazy sunday takes on an even lazier demeanor
as y'all wake up fully sixty minutes past your already impossibly long slumbers.
yuck.
luckily for me,
i've got crabtree's ineffable self-absorption and his unshakable internal clock
working in tandem to prevent any sleep at all,
so when i got up at 3 a.m., to bask in the b!tchery of a peepee dog at the witching hour,
it still felt a whole lot like 2 a.m.
to be honest,
the idea that i slept until 6 this morning felt pretty gross,
until i remembered the teleport!
yeah!
i lost an hour but i gained momentum,
and now that the ball is rolling,
i'd like to introduce you to THE TRUTH.
no, i mean it, i'm for serious.
like, for really real,
this sh!t right here is IT:

that's that kaBOOOOOOOOMfire business for all y'all-
....and for everyone else, too.
neighbors,
whaddya know about that new new hottness?
it's right here, with us, in the future.
coconut cocoa crusted coconut almond creme pie!!!
word up.
a cup and a half each of coconut milk and almond milk,
plus vanilla extract and almond extract,
heated in a pot,
meanwhile, in your blender,
you have to fire up a third of a cup of powpowdered sugar,
and three tablespoons of flour,
and three tablespoons of starch (agar/corn/tapioca/whatever),
and a cup of flaky coconut.
i also added more almond and vanilla,
because too much is the right amount.
when all that's all together,
that's where it gets good-
drip in about half a cup of that warm milky mixture, and blend it up for a minute,
then add the slurry in a hurry over high heat back into the pot!
you had better be stirring your actual butt off at that point,
because it's going to turn into pasty puddingy pulp very quickly,
and the whole thing'll sh!t the bed if you let it cook without agitating it.
stir it until it thickens,
and remove it form the heatsource.
i hope you can already figure out that it goes in pie crust?
no?
ew.
i used coconut, and some oats, and graham crackers, and sugar, and cocoa,
and melty butters, and almond milk, in a generous but imprecise ratio,
to create that exxxtra-crumbly sweet outer rim,
within which i blopped all that blarpity creme....
and when it cooled a teeny tiny bit,
i pressed sliced almonds, and dark-chocolate-covered thin coconut slivers on top.
yep.
two types of full-bodied intentional sprankles to make it expert.
mmmmm.
i doo-doo that overly ambitious big action.
.......wait.
there's also ground-chocolate frosting around that cookie rim, kids.
uh-huh.
a double ring of exxxtra-brown sweetness?
c'mon.
i'm not here to waste anyone's time,
i'm just in it to bring all kinds of sugary sexxiness down all around me.
-
i LOVE treats.
i HATE losing time.
both of 'em seem to in full effect today.
yuuuuup.
it's all really happening,
and i s'pose i'll just have to endure it.
since there's really no other option.
we've traveled a short hop into the future,
but i feels like an only slightly skewed and wholly unaltered present.
ha.
there probably just needs to be more cakes an' that,
i'm fairly sure that's what will create an equilibrium;
never quiet, never soft.....