Monday, March 18


so, just like every single year of my whole entire life,
i did NOT drink any alcohol on st. paddy's day.
that's right.
i'm still as stone sober as a judge,
but i still had some celebratory somethin'-somethin'...
i mean, rules is rules,
and i was clad in all the green from head to toe,
and my ( 0% ) irish eyes were smilin',
AND i got into some expert boiled D.
you know i hit it out of the park, too-
i had a lot of things going on, and they were each and every one exceptional.
check the teleport:

i prefer beautiful food, but i'll get busy with a bowl of brown bits
when it's that exxxtra-irish day of devotion.
we got that homemade, fresh-baked soda bread, with a pat of vegan butter-
we got crissspy potatoes, and exxxtra-crissspy potato waffle sorcery,
AND the roots with the sexxxy spice blend,
and brown-(vegan)butter-blasted cabbage....
that's somethin', for sure.
so, here's the haps on what slaps, chaps:
take two non-tablespoons of vegan butter, in a non-stick pan,
over high heat, and two or three wedges  of green cabbage,
and let 'em sizzle until they edges get blackish and the middles get super-soft.
that's really all there is to it.
flip 'em, obvi, after they get grilled all nicey-nice.
y'gotta add it to the boil'd D, in a minute, but first that needs makin', man:
in a 2 quart pot, toast up a lil baby bit of the following:
celery seed;
mustard seed;
red pepper flakes;
coriander seed;
cardamom seed;
fennel seed;
dill seed;
black peppercorns;
2 bay leaves;
and a tiny pinch of nutmeg.....
when that all gets aromatic af,
add a fat pat of that vegan butter,
and two cubed up potatoes;
1 chunked-out large carrot;
1/2 small purple carrot;
1/2 onion, roughly chopped;
2 cloves sliced garlic;
1 stalk of chopped celery;
2 1/2 cups warm water;
3 T tamari;
2 T malt vinegar.....
simmer the sh!t out of that, until everything is soft enough to split with a fork.
at some point, drop those cabbage wedges on the top, and lid the whole pot,
so it steams AND boils.
that's the move.
and how about that crawnchy potato waffle, boyo?
that's two potatoes, shredded, and 1/4 paper-thinly mandolined sweet onion,
and some pink salt and black pepper, drained, squeezed, and pressed,
spread across a hot waffle iron with another 'nother pat of that vegan butterpattin'.
it gets SO crisp.
...and that's a nice departure from all that softness.
i also had a few roasted potatoes, mostly because breezy likes potatoes,
but not all that other stuff so much.
i used to use a n/a beer in my broth, but i'm over it.
i mean, i don't wanna pretend i like beer,
and i don't need five more bummers to waste
from a six-pack of crappy wheat sodas.
here's the thing: it's ok not to drink-
even when it's a day normally dedicated to being a totally lame F*ing A*-hole.
maybe do something different, dudes.
i did 7 tattoos on st. paddy's.
that was a lot.
but only two were irish.
that's not enough, but it's still more than i'd have thought.
i did two sets of matchies, AND a pair of similarly-themed mom-and-daughter jauns,
as well as some scissors (a scissors? the scissors? scissors?) behind an ear...
and now, i've got a whole bunch to do today too,
but really, though:
too much is the right amount.
so in the spirit of the thing, i'm ready for whatever, neighbors.
what's good, today, universe?
i'm listening;
never quiet, never soft.....

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