homemade tastes better

i boil water for tea in a kettle.
why?
because it tastes better.
and i want better tea.
i make bread from scratch.
sourdough, naturally leavened, shaped, and baked.
why?
because it tastes better.
and good bread makes better people.
that's a thing.
is it more work?
than going to the store and getting ready-made sh!t?
yeah, it's a lot more work than that.
but it feels good, and it tastes good and it makes me happy,
and presumably it makes me healthy, too.
and those're all good things.
i'm better because of it.
...and really, it doesn't take that much effort.
but it looks like something extra special, i'll say that:

yup.
homemade, fresh-baked bread.
a loaf of high-hydration high-protein bread flour,
and a loaf of low-hydration super-high-protein white whole wheat.
the bulk-up rise was huge,
the oven spring was just as big,
and the crust was crisp and crunchy and full of flavor.
you need better bread to make the best dressing,
and the best dressing is kind of my specialty.
that's no joke.
check it:

gently toasted sourdough cubes,
homemade seared red lentil seitan sausage,
plus seasoned and sauteed leeks, celery, carrots,
and a whole lotta boilin' broth to saturate that whole scene.
there's sage and thyme and a little crushed fennel and rosemary stirred in
with the sausages, which were browned in a splash of oil in a hot pan, man.
i added a handful of from-scratch tempeh bacon, too.
i did.
more flavor is what we want, isn't it?
i think so, bro.
every year i mess with this mixture a little more.
every year, i think of how to make it even better.
every year, i get more into the craft and creation and see what i can summon up.
i used to use cornbread, but that gets too soggy and falls apart.
i used to use store crOmbles to make the sausage, but the pieces are too small,
and the taste was always overly salty.
i used to think i couldn't ever get any better at anything.
until i did.
and now, i just can't leave it alone.
it's homemade, because homemade tastes better.
but it's also homemade because it feels better.
-
i spent thursday making myself feel better,
and letting myself feel worse.
it's sort of a numb, neutral, in-between sensation.
like being almost asleep with a fever.
you're close to oblivion, and that's a relief because awareness is awful
in all of  the preceding moments.
i'm a homemade home alone homeboy,
and that's all that's happening;
never quiet, never soft.....

FULL/EMPTY

i did it.

i made another 'nother heroic meal,

a foodie food culture feast to flex my conscientious kitchen consciousness.

i think i've mentioned how important food is to my overall well-being.

it's true.

i'm better at making food than i am at art,

and i my whole life is made possible by making art,

so that's saying something...

i truly feel like cooking and eating and the philosophy and the motivation

behind my efforts and the ways and means of what i do 

is a clearer representation of who and what and how i am,

more than any words could maybe define.

and this year marked 22 consecutive years with no animal products 

even remotely in sight on thanksgiving.

yeah, that's real.

and that goes to eleven.

twice.

i'm very thankful.

i couldn't fit everything on one plate, even,

but that first plate was still a big fat heaping helpful helping of all that hottness.

right?

that's beautiful.

all vegan thanksgiving plates look the same though.

which is to say: better than the alternative,

but literally all pulled from one color palette. 

here's the thing-

i always have a LOT of pictures of the food.

and the dessert.

i'll maybe show all those glamour shots soon.

but i was all by myself,

no music, 

no background noise, 

heck, even crabtree slept through most of the day.

so there's no pictures of the get-together.

in fact, i barely got it and kept it together all day.

i was just stewing in my thoughts as the cranberries stewed in cider.

that may be foreshadowing for the rest of my life.

it's ok.

that's just what it is.

y'ever see any worthwhile mob movies?

that's what they say when it's the bottom line, and there's no more room to move.

that's. what. it. is.

i have enough food to feed all the people i didn't see yesterday.

and that's almost everybody.

after dark, dylan came by for a plate and some pie.

that was nice.

he also brought food; 

but i was too overwhelmed i by the food i already had on my countertops

the thing is, i watched the broadway one man performance comedy special

the new one, by mike birbiglia, who is very smart and nerdy and intellectual

for a weirdie comic... and my sad, sappy, sentimental self was all sorts of

touched and affected by the second half of the show.

then, because after all that food, i was painfully full,

and painfully empty, as well,

i also watched the irishman.

i fell asleep in a food coma, and woke up at 11:30 pm.....

little did i know that the movie is three and a half hours long.

so, i was up all night watching an old man die alone because he did the things he did.

and y'know what they told the other guy?

the one who stuck to his guns to his own everlasting eternal detriment?

go ahead.

guess.

yup.

"that's what it is."

yeah.

and the person he trusted most did him the dirtiest.

maybe y'all never had any old school italian-american experiences,

but if you have,

then that movie is F*ing incredible.

you don't get it unless you got it.

nobody wins.

and that's the facts.

...for the record,

i couldn't watch some of the film.

too much meat in the beginning, man.

i get actually upset about it.

i KNOW i was making a F*ing face at one a.m.

but that's what it is. 

-

maybe i can change that up a lot in the future.

i really hope so.

i feel thankful for the mindful feast and the overindulgent display

of my competence and capability in culinary feats of feting.

and i feel grateful for the ability to know how to do that.

but i'm worried that the price paid was too steep.

not on my waistline,

but on my bloodline;

never quiet, never soft.....

THANKSGIVING

thanksgiving is THE vegan holiday.
what?
no.
f'real.
think about it, man.
most people are busy eating all the dead things,
in huge quantities,
and that's weird as hell to me and all the other delicate and sensitive animal lovers.
but,
the point of the holiday may be gratitude and generosity and abundance,
for sure,
but the focus is the food and having piles of it.
it's the food holiday.
maybe back in the olden days it was about getting a little corn instead of starving,
but these days it's just about unbuttoning those pants and fitting more food into
your distended bellyhole.
-
i'll grant you, nothing is more annoying than a vegan at a non-vegan event.
they're worse than a religious aunt, even.
hell, even among vegans,
there are snobbish levels to some imaginary hierarchy.
really, nobody wants them around,
or, if they do,
they need them to shut up and just be cool.
i feel that.
i mean,
do you really think your red state uncle is gonna be converted to tincture of moon oil
or whatever the eff your chakra cleansing crystal weirdie sh!t is supposed to do?
c'mon.
i very simply think eating animals is F*ing horrifyingly disgusting,
and i can't keep my guts in place about it.
that IS annoying.
and whatever i'm stocking up in terms of karma,
i'm missing out on in terms of family.
of course, being there is probably worse for them,
since for me it's like volunteering to watch cannibal mutant zombies
eat decomposing flesh-
i wish my wild brain was calmer, but it is what it is.
-
ask any kid what the meaning of a holiday is,
and unless they've been brainwashed, the honest answer is the right one.
halloween is candy.
christmas is presents.
thanksgiving is food.
moreover, all the family togetherness is all based solely on the shared love
of specific foods.
auntie's pie, papa's stuffing, mom's potatoes...
yeah, you get it.
but when you're vegan, especially at first,
you gotta answer all the lame questions from your uncle-
so what do you eat? what about protein? how do you live? fish is meat???
and the teasing: should go i mow the lawn so you don't starve?
and the incomprehension: 'just pick the meat out.'
'there's just a little butter.'
'...but cheese isn't animals.'
and at first, you're excited to be the good news bearer-
you tell all those people about all the suffering they can stop,
and all the cruelty they can keep away from,
and all the bacteria and fecal matter and hormones and antibiotics,
and all the health complications and links to disease,
and all the planetary strains of deforestation and waste management
and pollution and climate change....
and suddenly, you're a bummer.
in fact, you're a real problem.
nobody wants to feel judged.
not me, not you, nobody.
but heaven forbid you're actually nauseated,
because then you're just being problematic and overdramatic.
as we all know:
vegans should be tolerant of others' choices.
it shouldn't matter what you feel as long as you don't make anyone else feel badly.
and if YOU feel badly, vegan?....
well you're less important, numerically, so shut up already.
you're ruining everybody else's good time.
so just have a bad time for our sake and keep quiet about it
y'know, like every other day.
well,
FUUUUUUUUUUU'HUUUUUUUUUUUCK THAT.
i don't feel okay.
i don't feel comfortable.
i don't feel like i'm being honest at all by pretending
that a day that's based on celebrating dead sh!t to the extent that it's nickname
is TURKEY DAY is some sh!t that i'm on board with, at all.
it's too much for me.
i'm not making anybody do anything.
i'm not even suggesting that i should be in charge of anybody but myself.
and as the boss of my own old self,
i'm not okay being okay with it.
on any normal day, everybody does what they're gonna do,
and i'm right there trying not to throw up or be awful.
but on 'turkey day'?
no.
i feel such a burden on holidays.
and honestly, it makes me sad to see little bits of bird in a beautiful person's face.
it makes me genuinely ill to see them in an ugly person's face.
and i've lived a life where i haven't had to for my entire adulthood.
that's no joke.
but,
somehow,
i have made intricate, excellent, elaborate, savory, sexxxy, succulent,
celebratory sumptuous radical plant-based vegan food
defiantly rejecting the notion that traditions can't be improved.
my family wasn't with it- so i did it on my own.
all alone the first year,
and then with vegans and pretend vegans and non-vegans with open-minds and palates,
with my kids, with my friends.
and every year for twenty-something years,
i've been an overdoin'-it, grandstanding, showboating,
one-upping big-timer about all the incredible things
that show i'm grateful for life and for being alive and for celebrating life.
and not one time did i have to huff a bread-filled bird corpse,
or a pink pig's buttcheek,
or any of the other stuff tradition dictates is necessary.
-
i'm right there on most holidays while whomever is eating whatever.
and when we go out to eat, nobody brings it up, and neither do i.
but THANKSGIVING is the day i'm the proudest of my decision not to eat meat.
no exaggeration.
full stop.
*
that said,
i still feel awful about the actual day,
and the people who (possibly?) want me around.
is it another case of preachy vegan troublemakers ruining everything?
i don't think so.
i'm not showing up to ruin anything.
i'm abstaining for just that reason.
i wonder is conscientious objectors were considered to be ruining the vietnam war?
i'm not sorry i feel how i feel,
but i am sorry for what that means for me and mine.
i miss all the people who've been part of thanksgiving in the woodsly goodness.
um, nope.
...wait.
that's untrue.
there's a few that can stuff seasoned bread up their own butts about it.
ha.
but i haven't been around most of those folks for quite a few years.
i want to feel gratitude for Folk Life & Liberty,
and instead i just feel alone.
that's what you get, when you be like i be.
it's a hard style, and maybe not worth it,
but that's just what it is;
never satisfied, never happy.....

GF PUMPKIN PIE

i don't even like pumpkin pie.
i never have,
and now, for sure, i'm even less into it.
i made a gluten-free vegan pumpkin pie,
from scratch.
i got up extra earlier than usual, and the usual is pretty dang early.
my oven still sucks, but it works.
that might be symbolism for a lot of my life,
but also, it's very irritating when it takes half a year for the box to get hot.
maybe i'm getting myself an oven for christmas?
ANYway,
i thought it'd be a kind thanksgiving gesture to make a little
gluten-free treat and bring it along to share and enjoy.
i even made brown sugar gingersnaps without wheat, too.
yeah, i did.

-
i could've skipped it.
that's all i'm saying.
instead, i've got a whole pie and dozens of cookies i don't want all to myself.
yeah.
i mean, as far as pumpkin pie goes, all the flavors are right there-
pumpkin, molasses, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, allspice, cloves,
with a touch of vanilla......
it's not BAD tasting.
in fact,
i'd bet it's one of the best damned gluten-free crusts i've ever made-
-
*
GF CRUST!
-
6 T vegan butter;
1 1/2 cups gf oats;
3 T brown sugar;
1/2 tsp cinnamon;
3 T powdered sugar;
1/3 cup almond meal;
an eyeballed shake of unsweetened coconut;
3 T of bob's 1:1 gf flour;
a dash of salt;
a splash of vanilla;
and a few spoonfuls of nondairy milk to give it some stick'em.
all pulsed in the food processor to a crOmbly cookieish consistency.
i formed it in a greased pie tin, then baked it for 11 minutes at 375℉.
and that's what that is.
expert.
*
the filling?
well,
that was something else entirely-
in the same food processor, i pureed:
1 15 oz can pumpkin;
2 tsp vanilla;
1/4 cup tapioca starch;
1 T non-GMO cornstarch;
1/4 cup molasses;
3 T brown sugar;
1/2 block exxxtra-firm tofu;
3 T non-dairy s'milk;
2 tsp cinnamon;
1 tsp ginger;
1/2 tsp nutmeg and allspice;
a heavy shake of cloves and a lil dash of salt.
when that was pulped and punished enough to get thick, smooth,
and puddingy,
i spooned it into the crust, and baked it in that same lazy oven until it got a few cracks in it.
like, 30 minutes?
-
it's firmer than a normal pie, and i prefer that.
it's the baby-doo-doo-goobieblop consistency that i like least about pumpkin pie.
this fixed that.
...
and then i put those cookie garnishes on the hot top so they'd sink in a little while it cooled.
yup.
-
and when you need cookies that do something special,
y'gotta make special cookies.
-
*
GF SNAPZ!
-
1/2 stick (4 T) vegan butter;
dash of salt;
1 tsp vanilla;
1/2 cup brown sugar;
1 tsp ginger;
1/4 tsp cinnamon;
1/3 cup bob's all-purpose gf flour;
1/3 cup bob's 1:1 gf flour;
1/3 cup mama's almond meal blend;
1 -2 T non dairy s'milk,
all mashed up to a smooth cookie dough,
refrigerated an hour, rolled, cut and baked for 11 minutes.
...and with a little bit of planning,before you know it- that's cookies.
i have a whole lot of them,
even though i cookie-monster face-smashed stress-ate a ton right off the jump.
-

a la mode, with whipped coconut creme, is how i prefer mine.
warm or room temperature or cold, it makes no difference.
it's not my favorite, so it doesn't get better according to temperature.
hmmm?
did i make cinnamon supercreme frosting too?
i did.
too much is the right amount.
i added all the little details to the thing.
that's what i do.
listen, motherF*ers-
radical vegan treats is my LOVE LANGUAGE.
do you understand?
i don't think you do.
self-care is great food, as far as my needs go.
true romance is making sh!t i don't like,
the way i do,
for the person i DO like.
as i said up at the top-
i don't even like it.
and now, it just seems like i'm an idiot.
i baked a pie for a girl to impress her,
but all she really wanted was for me to think differently than i do.
damn.
that's a pretty big gap in expectation vs reality.
ugh.
i am sad about it.
in fact, i'm sad most of the time.
truthfully,
i haven't had a day where i wasn't sad for at least some of the time in a long time.
depression is being sad in an undefinable melancholic way.
i'm sad about actual events.
it isn't depression.
it's a series of uncomfortable, unfortunate, inescapable circumstances. 
and all the P.M.A. on earth can't make believe that good is actually something else.
y'know?
because good is good, and bad is everything else.
wishful thinking and pie aren't the way to fix that.
but i'm pretty sure time and money are.
*
the older i get, the more i see a path in front of me that looks more like a straight jacket
than a straight upward trajectory.
the long and winding road, the path to success, the road less traveled....
that all sounds cool,
until you're on seventy miles of long winding road to nowhere,
making less money, and having less time.
my heart is there, my life is here, and they'll both break wherever i go.
at least i've got an acre of pumpkin pie i don't want to eat.
i'm scooping it up with cookies.
two birds, one cup, or whatever the saying is;
never quiet, never soft.....

EDITS

i apologize to anybody looking for evidence.
i've recently had to modify this blog to remove traces of
specific folks.
i'm not happy about it,
and once they're gone, those memories will never be preserved.
i've kept this as a sort of external recollection repository for so long now.
yet here i am with the holiday coming up,
and yet another dissolution of relations,
rewriting history for the sake of nothing.
i promised to respect the wishes of a parent,
in order for them to retain a tight control of the reins of the narrative
of their children's lives.
it hurts.
a lot.
and it removes all the images and all the good feelings
and all the positivity and hope that i held onto up until now.
hmmm?
yes.
this might be a little too facebook of a post.
i'm sincerely sorry to make a note of it,
but this is where i keep the true stories i tell,
and removing them is really really hard for me.
i didn't mean to overshare, but like i mentioned,
this is where i've kept my diary for so long,
i want to be able to go back and remember that there was something
in the blank spaces that've been left.
in fact,
i guess now is as good a time as any to decide some things-
i believe i will be done with this blog as the new year arrives.
who knows?
maybe i'll start something more specific and food centric,
with none of the dramatic narrative of this old man alone in the woods.
removing posts is sort of the sign that i've sold out.
i've sold out my integrity as a storyteller,
and i really feel bad about myself for doing so.
but rules is rules,
and there's no way to get better without the hurtful process of change and upheaval.
i'm unhappy.
i'm hurt.
i'm angry.
there's resentment simmering just below the surface,
and my eyes have moisture in the corners that's surely salty and threatening to drip out.
i really hate november,
and maybe i might also hate myself a little, too.
nqns

INCREDIBLE POT PIE

homemade expert vegan pot pie,

for an early thanksgiving celebration all by my lonesome?

certainly, sir- don't mind if i do.

now that the holiday is upon us i'm telling myself it's all fine-

but i've gotten about seventeen seconds of sleep about it,

so maybe all's not as well as it seems on the surface-

yesterday, i took the opportunity before work to fire up the oven,

and make myself a sumptuous from-scratch masterpiece,

and it did brought out all the best holiday feelings.

i was so overcome with the success of my effort that i even brought

my XI-mas tree to AMPERSAND TATTOO, 

and decorated that skinny spike after my appointment.

mmhmmm.

that's how good the pot pie was, neighbors.

look:

HOLY SH!T that's how you doo-doo that freaky sh!t.

and that crust???

WORD.

flaky, buttery, crispy, rich, and delicious all at the same time.

damn, duders.

i done did it.

-

what's going on in there?

well,

i made that pastry dough while the oven heated up to 400 luscious degrees.

-

*

VEGAN PIE CRUST!

-

in my food processor, 

i combined 10 T vegan butter;

3 T vegan creamchee';

a dash of salt;

2 cups king arthur all-purpose flour;

3-5 T non-dairy ice-cold milk,

and pulsed it until it was crOmbly and stuck together when pinched-

then i wrapped it and refrigerated it and started the stuffing...

-

* 

POT PIE GUY!

-

in a big skillet, with a glug of olive oil, i sauteed:

1/2 small head of cabbage, cut into 1 1/2 " wedges, and charred it.

i added in 1 sliced carrot, and cooked it until it browned on the edges,

then tossed in:

1 sliced and split leek;

2 cloves chopped garlic;

3 cups chopped mushrooms.

i used buttons, and it was fine-

as the mushrooms cooked down, i salted, peppered, and herbed 'em ep-

that's fresh parsley, plus dried sage, thyme, and rosemary-

when the leeks were soft and the mushrooms were smallerized,

i poured in 2 T white wine vinegar and 2 T tamari....

now that's some aromatic and excellent stuff to stuff in a pie, guy.

-

i fried up some exxxtra firm tofu, (1/2 block),

in light oil in a pan until it was well browned,

and tossed that into the mix.

i also parboiled and browned up a large red skin-on potato, too.

like, i boiled it until softish, then finished it off by firing up a very hot pan, 

and occasionally adding a splash of liquid to the mix while it cooked and got all golden 

-

that's a lotta great food in one place, and as much rich, thick, hearty, homestyle

family-flavored love in vegetable form as anybody could ask for.....

but i also made gravy, OBVI.

mmhmm

too much is the right amount.

don't get it twisted.

-

*

GRAVY!!!!!

-

in a small saucepot, i created a roux-

3 T king arthur flour and 3 T vegan butter, cooked until golden.

i added a heavy shake of GPOP, 

a gentle handful of nootch,

and two cups of gluten-free vegan chicken-style broth,

and turned up the heat until it was thiccc as helllllllllll.

i poured half over the veg in an 8" pan,

and kept half for afterwards.

-

i grabbed the dough, unwrapped it, and rolled it kinda fat on a floured surface,

traced the right size and cut out a circle,

popped out those vents, added some autumnal hottness around the rim,

and baked it until it was the most beautiful browned circle of superior sexxxiness.

i mean, you see it- so you know it's true.

and with some parsley sprankles and MORE gravy?

C'MON, MAN.

i really feel this in my heart.

i needed to express my thanks to the wider world.

i'm grateful for the abundance,

i'm grateful i have the vision to make this sh!t.

i'm grateful i had the pre-dawn time to get started.

i'm grateful it worked.

i'm just happy to be living in sync with choice to be murderless 

in my mouth and in my house.

plus, it's the best one i've maybe ever made,

and that's no joke;

never quiet, never soft.....

MORE TOAST

i'm busy these days eating *good* fats and sh!t like that.
uh-huh.
i'm trying something new.
instead of burying my feelings under a mountain range of sweets and treats,
i'm having avocado toast,
or sometimes just toast,
for breakfast,
and a F*ing salad for dinner.
i mean it.
dudes,
a couple of boca burgers, a head of broccoli,
and a bucket of green leaves with onions and carrots and tomatoes and cukes?
s'healthy!!
s'borrrrrrrring.
also, i'm SO hungry all the time.
but,
i want to run through the full gambit of hard styles and long nights
and heavy hearts and hurt feelings without also blarpin' out.
and all i want is pizza every single day.
that breakfast though.
that's some good stuff.
check it:

fire roasted tomato sprankles.
sesame seed sprankles.
sriracha flakes.
pink salt.
black pepper.
cilantro sprankles.
scallion sprankles.
tomatoes.
plus my favorite colorful mashed magic,
and that expert sourdough.
*
i F*ing HATE NOvember.
and i always have,
and i probably always will.
unless something impossibly, implausibly incredible happens
where i can then associate that with this heap of sh!t of a month,
i'm anti-NOvember forever.
until last year,
thanksgiving was the number one best thing going at the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
i'm talking eight consecutive years of radical, incredible vegan gratitude and generosity
tucked up in amongst the woodsly goodness of these northern mountains.
but last year, my dad died, so my ma was alone,
and i went down to share the time with her.
that was the right thing to do.
and also,
my kids were NOT coming up here for the first time in fifteen years-
the oldest was back from college and spanning time catching up with friends.....
and also, i suspect they were kind of protesting the inclusion of new children in my life
(little did they know they'd be learning about lilli after dessert or whatever)
and all of our family up here was having a non-vegan thanksgiving,
because they're not vegan, and that's their tradition, obvi.....
the thing is,
i've had twenty two consecutive vegan thanksgivings so far.
and i'd call that a hell of a streak, and a winning tradition as well.
i would have a impossible time feeling grateful looking at a pink pig's ass
or a bird with bread up it's body cavity.....
it very literally makes me feel like i will vomit every single time.
i'm not sorry about that,
but i am sorry that it's forever going to be a problem.
it's hard to go backwards to dead bodies when you've been protected
from that nauseating and uncomfortable scene for decades.
that's just what it is.
so all of it was separate,
and i suspect that it always will be.
i hate it,
and i hate november,
and i hate that there's no scenario where i don't have to pick a side or be all alone.
i'm gonna let you in on a little fun fact-
i will choose to be all alone.
that makes more sense, if being with people feels so heavy and hurtful.
and really, i pretty much already am, anyway-
-
just to recap:
work is always slow in november.
the days are short and dark and grey and cold and ugly.
food is forever an issue between me and all my people.
having separate families who don't/can't/won't interact is an issue.
the distance between any and all of us is awful.
this dog makes travel a nuisance,
because i have to impose him on whomever i visit.
none of it is any good.
i don't want to dwell on all the downsides,
but i can't see the sky for all the darkness lingering above me, literally.
although,
to be fair,
i did tattoo a lady's name on some guy's F*ING FACE yesterday.
and that's something to think about, for sure;
never quiet, never soft.....

SEVEN MONTHS

A-TOAST

smashed-up avocado on homemade sourdough bread is delicious.
but,
when you turn it up to eleven with all the exxxtra little bitty-bits
of morning glorious veggie goodness?
well,
then you're a real expert, man.'
look:

ALLLLLL THE GOOD THINGS.
tomatoes, cucumbers, radishes, cilantro, arugula, sriracha flakes,
sesame seed sprankles, purple carrot, pink salt, and black pepper...
that's a feast.
with an avocado so ripe it made my mouth smile while i crunched
the toast up in bite after bite of pure delight.

see?
that's what's good, bruh.
the toast is incredible, because the bread is phenomenal.
and good bread makes better people,
and better people make fancy sourdough from scratch in the morning.
is that true?
probably not.
but it's really good bread.
that's for sure.
there's not a LOT of great things going on in NOvember.
in fact,
as usual, it's living up to it's reputation as the WORST ONE.
but the breakfast scene has been helpful at least.
a little bit of sunshine in my mouth is about all i'm gonna get,
so i'll grab as much as i can.
the rest is gonna be pure november,
and that's as dark as they come;
never quiet, never soft..... 

BEAUTY

in just eight days it's time for the best eight days.

yup,

december first starts on a sunday-

and rules is rules, y'know?

that's right.

because we all love what happens when that happens, don't we?

yes.

we do.

sandwich week is coming back,

and i, for one, am as excited about it as i can be.

i love sandwiches.

i love being creative.

i love eating my feelings.

and i've got a whole lot of those during the holiday season.

so, really, it's perfect timing for a smorgasbørd of sandwich hottness.

in preparation for the big action,

i got a little teaser activated to whet my imagination and tastebuds.

check the teleport:

YEAH!!!

homemade big action deliciousness for my face.

the bread was baked freshie-fresh.

the seitan was from scratch, naturally.

the rest was inspired, and left nothing but more sandwiches to be desired.

look:

MMMMMMMMHMMMMM.

that's arugula and radicchio tossed together, 

with sticks of green apple thrown into the mix,

so that the crisp and the crunch and the sweet and the bitter all do something special.

there's seared orange and red baby sweet tomatoes on top,

and fried leeks,

and toasted almond slice sprankles.

i'm telling you,

the combination of flavors and textures before you even consider the bread 

and the seitan is already turned up to eleven.

it's really pretty freaking good, neighbors.

the bread was expert.

a soft high-hydration semi-ciabatta style loaf,

slathered with vegan mayo, and toasted up in a pan.

nobody needs the recipe, you'll be okay without it.

-

and then there's the seitan.

dredged in a mix of flour, gf bread crumbs, salt, pepper, crushed fennel seeds, 

rubbed rosemary, Garlic Powder, Onion Powder, 

a dash of smoked paprika, and a little cornstarch to keep it crispy...

fried up on both sides in vegan butter, all sorts of juicy on the inside,

and excellent on the every side.

-

sandwiches, man.

they're the best.

and one that's as well-appointed as this one?

that's the stuff that makes me feel something real in my self-esteem center, son.

i mean it.

i made this up,

and i made this happen.

i'm proud of that;

never quiet, never soft.....

TRICERATATTZ

just get better tattoos, dudes.

really.

you don't need a lot of imagination or originality.

i can take care of that part-

you just need to want better tattoos,

and you can have them.

i have a whole bunch just waiting for you over at AMPERSAND TATTOO.

that's f'real.

for example,

look at this drawn on dinosaur dopeness:

TRICERATOPS is the best dinosaur.

and that means that i'm 111% excited to tattoo them always.

i drew it on with marky-markers, man.

yup.

it's unique to that moment in time.

it's unique to the experience we created.

it's not another 'nother compass.

it's not another 'nother tree silhouette sleeve.

it's something so much more rewarding to the artist in me.

sure, the tattooer i've been, am, and remain will still do the things that

all the identical people all want to look even more identical....

but i'd be a big fat liar if i said i wasn't MORE excited to do cool stuff instead.

is that mean?

well, i think it's mean that you treat tattooing like fast food.

y'all ordering a number 7 mountain pocketwatch combo with 'wanderlust' on it to go.

hahahaha.

meanwhile i'm wishing dinosaur delights to materialize every day.

i'm grateful when they happen, maybe more so because it's infrequent.

who knows?

i'd like to do more of this, that's a fact;

never quiet, never soft.....