Friday, November 29

FULL/EMPTY

i did it.
i made another 'nother heroic meal,
a foodie food culture feast to flex my conscientious kitchen consciousness.
i think i've mentioned how important food is to my overall well-being.
it's true.
i'm better at making food than i am at art,
and i my whole life is made possible by making art,
so that's saying something...
i truly feel like cooking and eating and the philosophy and the motivation
behind my efforts and the ways and means of what i do 
is a clearer representation of who and what and how i am,
more than any words could maybe define.
and this year marked 22 consecutive years with no animal products 
even remotely in sight on thanksgiving.
yeah, that's real.
and that goes to eleven.
twice.
i'm very thankful.
i couldn't fit everything on one plate, even,
but that first plate was still a big fat heaping helpful helping of all that hottness.
right?
that's beautiful.
all vegan thanksgiving plates look the same though.
which is to say: better than the alternative,
but literally all pulled from one color palette. 
here's the thing-
i always have a LOT of pictures of the food.
and the dessert.
i'll maybe show all those glamour shots soon.
but i was all by myself,
no music, 
no background noise, 
heck, even crabtree slept through most of the day.
so there's no pictures of the get-together.
in fact, i barely got it and kept it together all day.
i was just stewing in my thoughts as the cranberries stewed in cider.
that may be foreshadowing for the rest of my life.
it's ok.
that's just what it is.
y'ever see any worthwhile mob movies?
that's what they say when it's the bottom line, and there's no more room to move.
that's. what. it. is.
i have enough food to feed all the people i didn't see yesterday.
and that's almost everybody.
after dark, dylan came by for a plate and some pie.
that was nice.
he also brought food; 
but i was too overwhelmed i by the food i already had on my countertops

the thing is, i watched the broadway one man performance comedy special
the new one, by mike birbiglia, who is very smart and nerdy and intellectual
for a weirdie comic... and my sad, sappy, sentimental self was all sorts of
touched and affected by the second half of the show.
then, because after all that food, i was painfully full,
and painfully empty, as well,
i also watched the irishman.
i fell asleep in a food coma, and woke up at 11:30 pm.....
little did i know that the movie is three and a half hours long.
so, i was up all night watching an old man die alone because he did the things he did.
and y'know what they told the other guy?
the one who stuck to his guns to his own everlasting eternal detriment?
go ahead.
guess.
yup.
"that's what it is."
yeah.
and the person he trusted most did him the dirtiest.
maybe y'all never had any old school italian-american experiences,
but if you have,
then that movie is F*ing incredible.
you don't get it unless you got it.
nobody wins.
and that's the facts.
...for the record,
i couldn't watch some of the film.
too much meat in the beginning, man.
i get actually upset about it.
i KNOW i was making a F*ing face at one a.m.
but that's what it is. 
-
maybe i can change that up a lot in the future.
i really hope so.
i feel thankful for the mindful feast and the overindulgent display
of my competence and capability in culinary feats of feting.
and i feel grateful for the ability to know how to do that.
but i'm worried that the price paid was too steep.
not on my waistline,
but on my bloodline;
never quiet, never soft.....

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