hit the deck.

manly work is being done over here.
i've got a seventy foot tall german blitzkrieger terrorizing the planks he's walkin'.
proper shivering on the ol' timbers, an' that.
what am i talking about?
uncle steven has arrived from connecticut's sh!t-salad tossin' territory
to raise hell and raze barns.
barnstormtroopin' is on the menu, ninjas.
did we discover some doo-doo buttery buttressing?
yep.
how about carpenter ants?
uh-huh.
they should be called A-hole F*tard bastardhole ants,
because they don't actually do any carpentry,
they just kinda choke on wood and suck.
(that's what SHE said)
in what i would call a justifiable genocide,
we hit 'em up with a hefty dose of chernobyl-sauce.
well nice, they get proper sawdusted and busted.
F* 'em all, and let god save the queen, since we sure aren't gonna.
is that not very vegan?
caaaaa-aaaare? i didn't smother them in chocolate and eat 'em,
i just offered up a sacrifice to the mighty house spirits.
you'd best believe that hungy hungry house spirits want blood tribute.
i'm pretty sure that's a proven scientific law.
and besides,
uncle steven was quick as lightning,
pulled out a helpful handy can of zyklonic cylon syrup,
and did the dirty deed.
i simply don't feel compelled to be a whiny whingeing waterbaby about it.
i'm just sayin',
more uncle, less ant.
that's my mutha-uckin' word, bleedin' heart baby b!tches.
go easy.
the construction is being conducted in segments,
on the broken segments of these insect inhabiters.
i'm pretty sure that's very patrioticly american.
should i have traded 'em some wampum first?
there's tar and flashy flashing, and shingles and sh!t everywere.
when the dust settles and the insecticide fumes clear
will i have a functional garage?
i sure hope so.

does my ass look big in this carapace?

where's this one think she's flyin' off to?

yeah, right.

not once, not never.

not less than eleven seperate instances today made me so glad i cut my hair off.

i mean,

spiders, cobwebs, sawdust, spiders, ants, fatty boombattie backbottom beetle bizzles,

mosquitoes, spiders, and assorted airborne stickinesses;

that's the kind of stuff that would've made me fully flip the F* out,

most especially if it had gotten into, upside, or around my luxurious samsony locks of old.

turns out,

dangley princess hair and manly environments don't mix that well.

nice.

my weekend is over.

already.

it included a whole bunch of eyeball to printed word contact.

i read a LOT.

i'm no smarter for it,

and my house isn't any better prepared for inhabitation,

but it still happened.

it's 5 p.m. wednesday,

do you know where your hottness is?

never quiet, never soft.....